The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
hi everyone. some of you know me and some dont. long story short...been in the program few years now. was with an alcoholic/crack addict for 8 yrs and magaged to leave him and get my life back. i was extremely happy and healthy. i was on top of the world. currently ive lost myself again. my life is falling apart before my eyes. yes its unmanageable and yes im very powerless. i have to file for bankrupcy at 25 yrs old. i have chronic migraines and pain at 25. and now in a new relationship which used to be perfect...im losing. my new boyfriend is not an A but should be in alanon. hes very codependent. we live together in a place we love so much. but its not happy here. he says he cant live with my negativity, baggage and pain. he has a right to his feelings. i put up with alot from him but more as accept him for who he is and go with it. he criticized and picks me apart piece by piece and tells me how to change and fix my life. i know this is my shit and none of his business. anyways our lives have been filled with screaming everyday for at least 2 months now and getting worse. he literally hates me and i can see it in his eyes. dont mean to be on the pity pot but what the hell do i do???????? ive been handing over what i can with great difficulty. ive been trying to walk away from an arugement but he knows how to get me where it hurts. ive been through this i just cant remember how anymore. i need help please!!!!!!!!!!!!
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stay in the now...dont look forward, dont look back....your life is what you make of it
Sometimes it seems that we try and change our lives by thinking if we get rid of the problem and leave it behind that it will change our lives. If we don't change our lives at the fundamental core we will run into the same problems. By looking for happiness outside of ourselves, rather than change whats inside of us. Yes new jobs, new apartments, new friends, more money, doesnt fundamentally change our lives, thats called relative happiness , its in relationship to person places or things, but absolute change and happiness begins inside of us. Its a strength and happiness that nobody can take away from us. As far as your boyfriend hating you and being angry, its really toward himself. He seems unhappy with himself, its the same tools as being with an A or addict. Our karma is to attract the same type of individuals. We have to always use the tools of a program like alanon or same type philosophy in our lives to be aware and know our selves and that other person. Now that you know, start applying the same principles to this relationship , if its what you want, if its not move on, But whatever it is, go on take care of yourself and dont bend your principles. Keep coming back and work it girl. Luv, Bettina
Sometimes it seems that we try and change our lives by thinking if we get rid of the problem and leave it behind that it will change our lives. If we don't change our lives at the fundamental core we will run into the same problems. By looking for happiness outside of ourselves, rather than change whats inside of us.
That pretty much hit the nail on the head with me.
Changing my life at the fundamental core was the answer to my problems.
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"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson
