The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have no knowledge of how the court system operates: A got arrested May 22nd for public intoxication. At that time he apparently appeared before a judge. He doesn't remember doing so, but the paperwork he brought home indicates that he did. At that time he was given the date of June 25th (yesterday) to appear in court. Well, he thought he was to appear on June 26th (today). So last evening, while getting his papers ready to appear, he noticed that he had misread the date, and should have appeared earlier in the day. Was that appearance one at which he would plead "guilty" or "not guilty", or would a trial take place then and there? Would a warrant for his arrest be issued for failure to appear?
He is going to go to the courthouse (or wherever it is he was supposed to show up) and attempt to explain that he made an honest mistake, and that it never was his intention to ignore this. Will he be arrested and be phoning to ask me to arrange bail for him?
Does anyone know the answers to my questions? I could just break his neck, but guess what kiddies? I really, down deep inside, don't care!!! That was his business to tend to, and if he couldn't manage to do it right, it is up to him to straighten it all out. I am staying out of it.
So....good morning to everyone. I hope each and every one of you has a fine, fine day. I intend to go and play MahJongg with my friends. What he does is up to him. But I AM mildly curious about what the day's events will involve for him.
Best to all,
Diva - getting an education no university offers!!!!!!!!!
-- Edited by Diva at 06:55, 2008-06-26
__________________
"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Diva, I don't have any experience with this. I do know that my AHsober is unconscious even when not drinking. You are right though it is his to deal with. However, as I tell my AHsober there is an impact on all of us for what you do. Of course, he doesn't hear me.
A very good morning to you too. I honestly don't know how things like this work. The state of Texas laws are probably very different from NY. I can tell you when A crashed his old car and walked away from the scene he was issued a ticket. We tried to get a hold of the officer but we could never track him down. Eventually an arrest warrant was issued because A didn't show up for the court date. At the time of court date he had checked himself back into detox and wasn't allowed to go. Eventually he explained everything to the judge and he was asked to pay the fine. He did and there are points on his license. That certainly has cost him in terms of insurance.
I have this one rule with hubby: if he gets into any kind of legal trouble because of his drinking (ie. being arrested, etc.) I will gladly bring his meds down to the jail. I will not post bail for him. I will not pay to get his car out of the tow place (like I did the last time). I will not pay for any leagal fees. It's up to him to deal with the consequences. As it stands now the car is due for inspection at the end of the month. So far he has not brought in for inspection. (He's really struggling right now.) If he doesn't that's his choice. He's going to have to deal with it.
Turn hubby's problems over to him and let him deal with it. It may have been an honest mistake. It's up to him to fix it. Enjoy your day. Love and blessings to you and your family. Kiss the critters for me!
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Failure to appear in court as promised is a violation of the law which may result in an arrest warrant, fines, and other penalties. Any time an individual has a duty, or has made an agreement, to appear in court, they can be penalized for failure to appear. A failure to appear can involve a traffic court appointment, jury services, a civil case, or a criminal case.
It is probably a good thing he is going down there today to tell them what happened...I would think that would work in his favor in the long run .
So right though, this is his to deal with and his consequences to suffer. Enjoy playing MahJongg with your friends. (((((Diva)))))
I suspect he is very unlikely to get into any really serious trouble over this, if he goes down to explain. Probably an extra fine. If he does spend a few hours or an overnight in custody, it won't kill him.
If he just ignores the whole thing, though, and later gets picked up for something else, this will most definitely tell against him.
At any rate, nothing to do with you. It won't be like you are abandoning him to any horrible fate.
You explained your A got arrested for public intoxication, they must have released him on his own at that time with no bail? As he didnt cause any harm to anyone else but himself. He was up before the judge and it sounds like they continued his case, if he had to make another appearance or he was too intoxicated to appear. He has a public defender? His case is not of that much importance compared to other cases the judge has to hear, that new date could have been continued also, I don't think he is in that great of trouble. He will figure it out. In California DUI is a money making business, not that driving under the influence is not a serious offense, my husband was just arrested for a dui, $100.000, bail, $10,000. for the bailbondsman and $5000. for the Atty. first offense. I considered not bailing him out, but he could have sat in jail for up to 6 months, arrainments in Calif. get continued all the time, I don't think he is a criminal, just very sick. Although he did break the law and should suffer what there is to suffer,He would have lost his job, he is 26 years on the job, without missing a day, we would lose our health insurance, bad consequences for me. since I work part time and I am semi retired. So you weigh everything, not every issue has hard and fast rules. As a result of this DUI, he has been sober 14 days, goes to AA twice a day. I know he is under the gun, but making better choices , as he could still do jail time or community service and he will probably have a suspended license. I have allowed him one, as we have a joint account and he has earned money too. Next time , if it happens again, which I pray it won't , he will sit in jail. when he was arrested I went to the bank and put our savings in my name only, he had $6000.00 in his own personal account, he paid the lawyer with that. So, he gets no more money from me, he still owes the bailbondsman, $5000. , which he will pay monthly. Alcoholics don't wake up one day and say, " I think I will stop drinking today", I have been praying that the A would hit a big bump in the road that might give him consequences to stop and realize that he is creating chaos and one mess after another for himself, a few days before his DUI, he was in the ER, he was so drunk he fell over the railing at our home and hit the floor and broke a rib, how painful was that? Alcoholics , most come from a very painful childhood, so as adults they still feel they should be beat up, Im not saying all, but most. 26 years I have been with this man, separated from him twice, have kicked him out countless times, I have gone on long vacations many times, really enjoyed myself too. Thanks to Alanon and my Buddhist practice, I have suffered what there is to suffer, enjoyed what there is to enjoy and regard struggles and obtacles as part of life. There is nobody on this planet that doesnt have some kind of issue. Although other peoples lives may look perfect, thats an illusion. I live in a part of L.A. where there are a lot of movie stars, as a matter of fact my A is in an AA, where there are loads of celebrities suffering from this affliction. It sure makes everyone seem more human with all our frailties doesnt it. The A is not perfect by any means, but neither am I. Luv, Bettina
Todays Reminder: Before I take any action or speak any hot words, I will think about what provoked me into this impulse. If I can persuade myself to not act or speak. I can quietly and inwardly rejoice that my Higher Power gave me the grace to be silent. Such constructive thinking is a fine ego builder-just one of many. "What shall it profit a man to be right if he thereby make an enemy?"
Well, he is home. Pled not guilty. No, he certainly does not qualify to have a public defender. He will represent himself at trial on August 12th. And, as much as I don't want to say this, he really is "Not Guilty." I will explain that at a leter time, but I am sure he will not be convicted because of circumstances. So no lesson will be learned there. Just another lucky break. BTW, no one said a word about his not having appeared yesterday.
__________________
"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Ok Diva, what are you doing here?? Aren't you suppose to be wearing a grass skirt and a coconut top???? love,debilyn who says, ok I am going to be Diva now
For petes sake, do nothing to help him!!! He got into the mess let him figure it out!! Bail are you kidding??? Go buy yourself some snackies to feed your fur kids!!!