The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am so sorry (((((((((((((family))))))))))))))))) my internet service provider severed my connection before I had the chance to let you all know that I would not be able to pop in for a while...and I was so miserable and lonely.
As a result, I am quite low in spirits right now.
My doctor is writing a letter for me and my adviser is going to run an appeal for me reguarding my financial situation and my benefits, meantime I am going to speak with a counsellor to help with my depression and low mood swings.
Happily I can tell you all that the back surgery was NOT as painful and uncomfortable as the first time and I feel that some progress has been made in the pain control, however I have been vomiting a lot as my system does not seem to tolerate the morphine. I keep telling the doctors this, but somehow they do NOT seem to hear me...so I have had to stop taking the morphine 'cos I cannot keep food down when I take it.
I think that I have taken a step or two backwards in my alanon recovery programme, probably because I have so many things on my mind right now and my moods are so low and I am very tearful and I have been very lonely and felt so cut off.
The isolation has not helped at all and so I am so happy to be back in the heart of the ((((((((family))))))))) once again.
In all my life I have NEVER had support like this family gives me and felt love as I do from this family too. I have truly missed you all and have been wondering how you all have been doing.
Jerry, David, Cookie, Ddub, Diva (have you bought that house in Hawaii yet?), Tom, Debilyn, Serendipity, Songbird, Nancy, Jen, Glad, Tea2, CarolinaG, Jean, Maresie, Loupiness, Carosie, Tugboat (where ever you are now), Karilynn and P - pipers how many mice have you caught(?) whilst I have been away, Christy, Lyn, Aloha, rtexas, barisax (not heard from you for a while), Omajoy - hoping you are beginning to feel better, Jennifer, Rainyj, Tiger, Lunamoth, and so so many more of you, you've all been in my prayers...and even those I have not mentioned in person...I am sure I have missed many of you...and I hope that you will NOT be upset if I have not named you...I am sure I will think of many more when I post this and I will be mad at me for not putting your name down here, however I just realised that it would take me the whole day to mention everyone in person.
Family, I love you so much and you are so so special to me. Thank you for being there for me...
Now I have to get back to work and start to step out again in this programme. Lack of motivation, lack of encouragement, and lack of communication has taken me down, however now I have the communication back, and the encouragement my motiviation should begin to roll again.
Here in England, the summer feels as though it has arrived and so I am going to try my best to look for the sunshine everyday and ignore the black clouds and let them fleetingly in ONLY to water my garden for me. Let go Let God, He is so wonderful and I am so grateful for that love in my life. What hope and joy and so many blessings too...so why do I feel so low and so lost and alone at times? It is a mystery to me, however it is also the truth that I cannot hide from? I need people in my life and you (((((((family))))))) are really important and special to me.
Suzannah
-- Edited by Suzannah at 07:03, 2008-06-24
-- Edited by Suzannah at 07:05, 2008-06-24
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
I was so glad to see you back!! Having been off-line for over a month not too long ago, I know how it feels to become isolated when you are so dependent on this site. I was able to join in reading, but could not communicate. Sooo, welcome back. Thinking of you and praying for your progress against your physical ailments. I am hanging in there with much anxiety waiting for my July appointment for what will be done for my lung mets. I am quite sure surgery....other than that, remains to be seen. My family situation runs hot and cold, but generally speaking, we are doing OK. I have so many projects to get done today. Tomorrow we will celebrate the third birthday of our grandbaby. He has specified "chocolate, not yellow" cake. What a distinction for a three year old! He shall have his chocolate. Thinking of you and so glad you are back with us.
Though you may feel low in spirit, your post, as always, expresses peace and a special sweetness. I wish you a quick recovery both physically and in this program. So glad to have you back!
Blessings, Lou
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Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace. ~ Ronald Reagan~
Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't ~Marguerite Bro~
Welcome back. We have missed your bright smile. It's hard to work on your recovery when you are feeling sick. Many of us have walked that road before. So take good care of you. Give yourself time to heal. Get some extra and eat your favorite foods. Read and relax. Sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves is to shelve the challenges (I don't like the word problems) until the next day. Kind of gives us a new prespective on things.
Keep on those doctors until they find the right pain medication for you. Hubby couldn't do morphine because he had hallucinations nor could he do vicodan because it really reacted with him. He was finally given percoset which he was on for a few months after his foot surgery. He was as clear as a bell, not dizzy and had no problem getting off of it when he was done. If they are not listening to you, ask for a patient advocate. That's what they are there for. This is your life and your treatment. You have a say in it.
Pipers has caught a few mice, bluejay and a frog since you've been away. The neighbor brought her over a bag of treats because she's extra dillegent about keeping the moles out her garden. So that's where they have all been coming from. We are growing catnip for her. Oh no! She's going to have to become a member of CA (catnip anonymous) before the summer is over.
We're keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. Much love and blessings to you.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
-- Edited by Karilynn at 09:40, 2008-06-24
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
(((Suzannah))) No! you did not mention my name in your post. But I will try my best to get over that. "JUST KIDDING". I missed you and your input, and I am glad you are back. Seven days without MIP makes one "WEAK". Now you can start getting your strength back!!! RLC
you are missed. I can definitely empathise with your post. I spent quite a bit of time feeling ill this year. I've been going to counselling that helps. Nevertheless I feel hugely alone. I know my old way of dealing with things doesn't work. Codependence is in my every breath. I simply can't do that anymore. Negotiating to get our needs met is hard stuff because of course codependents are used to foregoing their needs entirely. Of course its foreign but you are learning the language and working on taking care of yourself. That takes considerable guts and courage to start over. Maresie.
We have missed your bright smile. It's hard to work on your recovery when you are feeling sick. 
Many of us have walked that road before. So take good care of you. Give yourself time to heal. Get some extra 
and eat your favorite foods. 
Read and relax. 
Sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves is to shelve the challenges (I don't like the word problems) until the next day. Kind of gives us a new prespective on things. 
since you've been away. The neighbor brought her over a bag of treats because she's extra dillegent about keeping the moles out her garden. So that's where they have all been coming from. We are growing catnip for her. Oh no! She's going to have to become a member of CA (catnip anonymous) before the summer is over. 
