The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I feel I may need anti-depressants... it just hit me hard today, that i am really depressed... sometimes finding myself sad for no reason... i want to get back to the "happy" person i used to be... everything upsets me, and frustrates me... i was very upset at my daughter for disobeying me today...is this normal?
You've been going through enormous stress, along with not knowing whether or not you are doing the right thing. I sorta think that if you were your old carefree self, that would be a sign that something was wrong!
Give yourself permission to feel whatever you feel. Also, make sure you are taking care of yourself - are you getting enough rest, eating well, having some fun of some sort? It's important to do the things that soothe your soul and give you joy, or else your well of happiness could run dry. I remember once, when things in our home were at their worst, just bathing my baby by the light of a candle, after everyone had gone to bed (she was so little she was still in the little table-tub) I gave her her bath, and then sat and nursed her and watched the wind blowing the trees outside the window.... it was things like that that gave me the strength to face my life. Fit some peace, or joy, or fun, into every day - you really do need it.
JB how else would you have wanted to do it? What would you need and have to do to get what you wanted? That's how my sponsor use to do it to me... think! slow down and think...and when I let go and let God...I'd slow down and when I slowed down I could think about one thing at a time and not feel like the whole wide world was knocking at my door wanting a piece of me. What I found that helped soooo much (along with the other tools of this program) was, "acceptance is the solution to all of my problems..." I don't have to accept the unacceptable and I do have to accept the fact of it. Simply said I don't have to accept what is happening. I accept the fact that it is happening and that I am powerless over it.
Another thing I learned was not to stack resentments cause I always got a bad payoff from doing that and I tended to shotgun my anger and rage at any person, place and thing within range. The opposite of resentment is forgiveness. If I don't the eeeeching feeling of resentments the consequence of practicing forgiveness is peace of mind and serenity. I like that better.
I was told that depression is anger turned inward...Does this kinda ring a bell for you? If not don't think about it. There are several sources of depression and maybe a couple more when you are a woman. Slow down and think it out.
