The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I feel so alone. I feel like there is no one to help or even care.
Today Marks nan told me Marks mum has told her not to talk to me about marks drinking and abusive behaviour because she is encouraging me to kick him out. So now I have no-one.
I know you guys are here for me but it was nice to have some one in real life.
My stomache has been killing all day because I have been so upset. I dont know what to do.
I think this room alone has saved my life for the past few years. There is much you can to take care of yourself. First you can come here and go to the chat room anytime day or night. Admittedly the meetings are in American time(EST) so sometimes it is hard to get to a meeting. Nevertheless lots of people stay around after meetings and you have a good chance of finding peope so you don't feel alone. When I first came here I used to spend a lot of time in the chat room. Some of us have to take it one day at a time at times. We have to move really slowly because there is a lot of pain. Eventually the pain changes. I'm not going to say it goes away because this is very painful stuff but it does change. Some of us have to be in steps 1,2,3 for a long time that involves turning some things over.
Some of my background is I lived with an alcoholic for 7 years recently. Really I have lived with alcoholics all my life. This was just a new version of the same story. I left him eventually and can't say my life is swimming in happiness but it is better. I am looking at my issues for the time being. That helps.
Keep posting here, keep adding to posts you see here. You will then start to feel like you belong somewhere.
I know how that alone feeling can seem to swallow you up. Is there a face2face meeting anywhere near you? Even if you could find a local contact #, you could talk to someone on the phone. I would really encourage you to find a sponsor. A sponsor can really help you feel like there is someone to conect with. Even an online sponsor is certainly better than none.
The other thing is to read lots of Al-Anon liturature. That helped me a lot.
And come here often. I really needed this site especially when I was feeling alone.
It is hard to deal with family who are not in recovery. They really just don't get it. They are the ones we think SHOULD be our support, but oftentimes are not. Try to remember they are imperfect humans, too, and are just doing the best they can. Then, as I did, come here and get it out and learn and grow.
In recovery,
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
I am personally grateful for what has been written so far.... This fellowship is so wise when we stick together!
I try to remind myself that my feelings are not real. And, when the goal of my recovery, (my serenity) is disturbed, I try to look at the thoughts that are causing my distress. "I feel alone." That thought has often caused me to spiral.
I have noticed that when I switch my thinking to The Steps, I begin to feel hopeful. I may not always understand my HP's will, but I know that I must trust it.
I try to keep close contact with my Higher Power by praying more...and meditating. These tools help me to feel connected to my HP. Be conscious of your breath. The breath is so amazing....an intelligence that operates without us and our control. It reminds me that there is something powerful within me.... Indeed, I am not alone.
Stay connected ((((mum)))) With the fellowship....with the 12 steps...and with your Higher Power.
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
