The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've been working on detaching from my sister. My younger sister is a chronic alcoholic. I find it very hard to deal with her and like most alcoholics its all on her terms. I'm focusing on myself for now that helps.
I am also trying to do the same -detaching from my son and DIL. It is hard---because I think it is a totally way of life for us Mothers---we were so used to be the one to "fix" anything and never say our feelings. Good luck on your journey and know you sure are not alone.
Detaching is so hard, but so necessary to save our sanity. I hope you find some peace and serenity in your decision. Sometimes the best thing we can do for our kids is to take good care of and protect their mother/father, no matter how old they are (mine are small still), even if it means no contact or whatever for awhile.
As we get healthier and better at detaching, we even find ourselves able to communicate sometimes without loosing our serenity. I like the saying "detach with love, but if you can't, detach". To me it means take care of me, regardless. Staying emotionally entangled just doesn't help us or them.
Keep coming back.
Love in recovery,
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
Here's hoping at some point you all can be reunited. Meanwhile remember why you are doing this and what is was like when they were in your life. Perhaps that will help. Cutting off people who are unhealthy for us is very hard. I can't imagine what it must be like for a parent to do that. Keeping you in my prayers. Here's hoping the bunnies are bringing you some extra joy and serenity. There's something about clinging to an animal in times of stress that make things all the easier for us. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
This very important step of detachment is a toughie because who ever it is we detach from is so very close to us. The relationship or bond is so tight, it does hurt to let it go. I think you are well on your way to healing and can keep them in your prayers and thoughts but not so close in your life. Just my two cents.
