The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The question was raised recently of where the awesome quote came from:
He is either gonna drink, or he won't, what are YOU gonna do??
I may have been the first to post it on MIP, but it came to me from my wise old (online) sponsor, who has since passed away..... He had many gems, and here are a few of my favourite ones....
When dealing with your A, imagine a big "SSS" on their forehead, that stands for sick, sick, sick....
Deal more with the "whats", and less with the "whys"..... The "whys" will kill you.
45. (this was an entire e-mail response to me, to which I replied "huh?", and he said: "You referred to your A 45 times in the last e-mail you sent me. I am here to help YOU, not her. In the future, limit your references of your A to less than 4-5, or I will simply delete the e-mail and will not respond.")
Live life, and let happiness find you.
I never had the opportunity to say a proper goodbye to Don (one of the negatives of online, distant sponsorship), but I trust that he knew how much good he provided. He was indeed a gem.
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I do think the "why's" almost killed me. I no think why like I no longer think about what could happen. I try to deal with today but often times that is overwhelming.
I also referred to the A many many times. I was totally fused with him, now I am not that is a miracle in itself. Now I want nothing more to do with him on any level shape or form. I don't actively hate him but I have no interest in him at all. I believe I deserve a relationship where I am not drained alive.
Whatever he wants or needs or does is absolutely no concern of mine anymore and it was all I thought about for 7 years.
Here are a few jems from my sponsor and others who have changed my life. After a convention meeting where I had been complaining about God knows what -- A lady from AA came up to me and said *ya know honey u din't pick him cause uwere the healthiest nut in the barrel *
AA friend sharred that alone in my own head there is no adult supervision .
When I was dumb enough to say why me ? sponsor replied * why not you who in hell do u think you are
An old timer sharred with me after I was complianing about my friends who wouldn't come to Al-Anon with me -- said Louise don't waste your time defending this program or justifying why your here , try Living it !!!
On a particularly bad day when i was totally overwhelmed and had been thinking way too much I decided that something terrible must have happened to me yrs ago , to allow myself to end up in the state I was in , I went to my sponsors house and said just that what could have happened to me that I would allow myself to be treated like this ? I waited for a long explanation but she simply took my hand and said * all u need to know is that alcoholism happened to you * and all of a sudden it became perfectly clear .
My all time fav , after a womens retreat several yrs ago I had had it , I was never going to come to another meeting again and told a friend that was it I was done , she said oh don't quit before the miracle-- of course I thought she meant his sobreity and I left , A yr later at the same retreat I asked her what she meant she said what did your think I meant well I said his sobreity of course , she said NO that is his Miracle -- yours is to find yourself.o become the person u were meant to be . duh !!!!
