The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It has been very difficult to deal with the ups and downs of alcoholism, drug addiction, bipolar. It is like beeing in the middle of the storm and unable to do anything. Finally, the A has calmed-down for a couple of days. He does not remember anythings: Yelling, beings hurtful to me and his son, destructive, and crazy. It has been a rough time. Now, he is trying to be nice and pleasent. But i am hurt and do not want to know about his plans. I understand that it is the deasse. However, it is very difficult for me to separate the man fron the effects of alcoholism. I am trying to live my life and find the best place for me and my son. It is like it will have no end. I am hoping to find my peace once I am out of this house. I do not wamt to worry for the A or anythin about him. However, I have the feeling that he will go and find me wherever I go. I ask God for help constantly so that I can move on.
I can totally relate!!! I have gotten to the point that all the apologies and promises make me sick. There is nothing like being abused for 2-3 days- being told he can't stand the sight of you, yelling, packing my stuff and putting it in the car, telling me to be gone by time he gets back, etc....then, he loves me and he is so sorry and he didn't mean all those horrible things he said. In the beginning, I would cry and totally believed that things were going to change. Now I just can't stand to be around him. I'm pretty new to alanon and trying to learn some tools to cope with the situation. But, I just wanted you to know that I feel for you and can relate!!!! Take care.
Jdel, Alanon is not about the alcoholic, its about you, your dreams and hopes. It's about detachment, whether you want to leave or stay. Alanon is about helping you find solutions. Always come back , because it works!!!!! a friend in recovery , Bettina
Trying to think while there is chaos all around is damned-near impossible. When I go to a FACE to FACE al-anon meeting, I am guaranteed to have a calm space where I can listen to experience, strength and hope (ESH) of others who have been through it. The FACE to FACE (f2f) meetings also provide me with an opportunity to talk with people who are capable of listening without interrupting and hearing me without judging.
If you haven't, yet, got out to a f2f, I highly recommend it. For me, it is about taking care of myself - I receive peace and serenity at my meetings - which allows me to be MORE capable of dealing with any stresses and stressors in my life.
With love, CJ
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
I wanted to get my soon to be ex alcoholic bipolar husband a t-shirt with two different phrases on the back and front. One phrase would say: "Please Be Nice To Me" and the other one would say "Shut Up B*TCH" so he could just swivel around when his perception shifted from one to the other (there was rarely anything in between, sadly, hence the need to divorce). laughing, J.
