The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi everyone, I new here and needed some feedback. I went to an open talk tonight, Al-Anon. It made me think about how similiar my life is compared to the A. When they are drinking, they make a lot of bad decisions. Well, I was looking back on my life and see how many bad decisions I've made. I have the same diease, but I don't have the allery to A. I thank God for that, however, becasue I still have the problem of thinking that I'm not a valuable person, I make decisions based on that.
Anyway, I lost my job about 4 wks ago. They tell me that they needed to cut back because of sales are down, It's an automotive supplier. They hired a material manager about 3 months before I was let go. She made me crazy because everytime I went into her office she would tell me how badly the company was doing financially. Which is true, they did not pay their suppliers and were always put on COD. She also confided in me that they were looking at letting people go. She would tell me it was a different person almost every other day. Well it turned out to be me. When she and the HR person brought me in the office to let me go, I asked them why they choose me? They both put their heads down and told me it was because I made too much money compared to my coworker. My diease tells me that I am a failure, that it was because of my performance. Well she called me about 2 wks ago to tell me she was going to send me a reference letter in the mail. It was very kind and generous.
Sorry, for so long, My problem is, how can I stop feeling like sure a minus all the time? In my head, I'm never good enough. I compare myself to others and they are always better than me. I don't have a college degree and that makes me feel like I'm a minus too. I wish that I would have gone to college, but I didn't think I was smart enough. I would appreciate it if someone could respond. It's horrible to live like this.
Welcome to the MIP family. First of all you are not a fauilure. You were at a higher payrate because they deemed you valuable. Unfortunately it's not always a blessings because when it comes to cutbacks companies usually get rid of the highest paid person first. My hours get cut all the time because I make more than most people. I've been with my company for 9 years now. I didn't get the rate I have because I did nothing. They rewarded me for good service.
You just started on the path to recovery by coming here and going to your meetings. Alanon gives us the tools to leave a more happy and fulfilled life. Recovery is about taking back your life and living the life you so richly deserve.
There are lots of people who have a college degree but don't have an ounce of common sense. Try not to compare yourself to others. It's a waste of time and will get you into trouble. What you can do is instead of saying "That person is better than I am." try saying "If this person can do that, so can I? What's stopping me?" Use them as an example to go foward and work towards a goal. You know a friend once told me to "Replace the word PROBLEMS with the word CHALLENGES. Problems are overwhelming and keep you stuck. Challenges are encouraging and push you foward. So you go girl. You can feel better about yourself. Keep coming back to us. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty <--the cat
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
First of all I totally agree with Kari, she has much wisdom....second when God closes a door he always opens a window, sometimes the window is stuck but, with an open heart and mind the window will open this I promise.
Life throws many curve balls along the way. I pray you keep coming back, there is so very much wisdom and love here.
Try to lighten up on yourself, I am sure you are a wonderful person and I am looking forward to getting to know you.
Take it Slow and Easy and the rainbow will shine thru.
this is tough, I know what the job situation must be like for you as I have threats like that in my workplace all the time. Work is difficult at the moment. You are good enough and college degrees don't make people better, I am working for lecturers at the moment who have absolutely feeling for anyone except themselves. They were worried about giving me a second rate contract because it might cost a chair meaning if you have what is known as a chair in the deparments three jobs need to be sacrificed to pay for that. These people are lecturing on equality etc, its very difficult to take them seriously at times. You take it easy on yourself and put it down to market forces.
Try not to compare yourself to others. It's a waste of time and will get you into trouble. What you can do is instead of saying "That person is better than I am." try saying "If this person can do that, so can I? What's stopping me?" Use them as an example to go foward and work towards a goal. You know a friend once told me to "Replace the word PROBLEMS with the word CHALLENGES. Problems are overwhelming and keep you stuck. Challenges are encouraging and push you foward. So you go girl. You can feel better about yourself. Keep coming back to us. Love and blessings to you and your family.