The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My 35yr. old son accused me via internet that over the years I have said he has a "dark soul" I don't even know what that means. Does anyone else know?? I tried calling him and emailing him about it, but as usual like my other discussions about our delimma he will not talk to me. I am totally at a loss.
It also can mean dark spirit, lost soul, depressed spirit etc. Only he has what it means to him and yep he could being trying to project his thought about himself into you. After all it's himself that he gets to talk to all day long and it doesn't sound like the conversations are any too good.
Hope he finds the light switch and the door out of where he is and I hope it's into the sunlight of the spirit.
Did you use the term "dark soul" to him, in a way I think your right, we are all capable of innate darkness, or negativity, or a higher nature or positive energy, I think we all have it, not just your son. Sometimes its so hard to overcome our negativity, don't you think its a lifetime struggle. What about the criminal, what makes them commit crimes ? What makes the alcoholic drink. I think its the innate darkness that is difficult for them to control. Of course with the alcoholic, genetics comes into play also. I hope I'm making sense, Its late, will sign off for now.
What I want to say is, the words do not matter,it is the blaming you,and not communicating.
I feel, in especially the last month with my two thirty+ kids,that for some reason they want to blame us for their own inadequecies. spell?
Could be for a lot of reasons. Maybe "wow" here I am thirty,and how did I get here. Must be mom's fault. Maybe they go thru another some kind of awareness or milestone at this age.
I should be blah blah or whatever.
It is my feeling it is them they are talking about. We have done nothing or made them feel anything. They have to figure it out for themselves now.They are mature adults at this age. Maybe it is their last blaming their parents trip.Hopefully eh?
To me it is totally disrespectful. I would have never treated my mother this way except back as a confused teen and very young adult.
I believe,after much support here, that it is NOT my problem or my issue. I throw it back to them."Wow,there sure are some high feelings there,huh!?"
I know at first it is like a knife in a person. For me it pushes all all my buttons,and down I go. Fighting to survive, as already keeping my head above water from the A disease of my AH. It throws me right back into total illness.
Hope this has helped. At first it is so hard,like a brick thrown into your gut. For me it totally throws me off track. Just like the A stuff. Cannot eat or sleep,think,gads my checking account is in a horrible mess.not like me at all.
I had a couple donations here and one on paypal.But just well my mind and body went away.Now on a very very tight budget,I have NO idea how to fix this.To some it would be pennies,but for me....ack.So for me to mess this up,tells lots.
I hope maybe you can put it away for awhile. Allow him to come to you.Hopefully he will apologise or just come back and start talking.My son and I have a silent understanding.When he called, he sorta said are you talking to me? I was happy at that point,said,"Of course honey!" sigh (o:
Well big hugs, keep coming back!! love,debilyn ps and for petes sake don't be like me and try to fill that hole...I ended up rescuing two kittens....on the other hand,yes adopt a kitten or two!!
