The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Maybe it is just life or my inability to deal, cope in a balanced way... but it feels like the Bunny Hop, u know one jump forwards, two back.
Sometimes it feels like I get an inch forward & fall 25 blocks back, from just a word or being in an unstable mood & being 'thrown from my serenity' but that is what the Program is all about, learning to be "okay" within ourselves no matter what else is going on.
That is what an emotionally intelligent person with healthy intra & inter-personal boundaries does. No one but us (codies, enablers) takes it all in & personally. Most people probably don't even consider us that much.
I want to say something encouraging, I want it for myself, b/c truth be told I can be okay even if my loved one is having a bad day. It isn't my job to help anyone but myself.
That is my only (true) job ~ to live my life and own it. If I have a miserable life, don't forgive or others, stay hurt, betrayed, angry, stay tragic ~ it only really affects me.
Just for this moment, for right now, today... I validate myself, approve of myself, love myself & encourage myself. I can choose to be satisfied, content, even happy right now.
Other ppl may disappoint me, let me down, betray me, not care or are as invested/attached as I am... but I can turn all of that interest, love, support & direct it at myself.
I am worth it. I can save, love, value & appreciate myself - if I don't who will? We all, including me (I) know what & who I will attract if I am looking outside of me.
God help me to know that I am worth Your Divine pure love and that loving myself is self-protection & preservation... there ought to be no guilt in being kind & gentle with myself & giving myself a fair chance. I don't have to be demanding or impatient whatsoever. I can simply recognize the spark of hp in me & be grateful.
Life is pain, "pain of growth or the pain of decay, you choose" is something my mother told me my entire life.
' "Get busy living or get busy dying." '
I concur, today I choose to grow and I hope I might encourage others to do so as well.
-- Edited by kitty at 16:18, 2008-06-03
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Kitty! Way to go!! That was absolutely encouraging. I needed that back pat, and yes I deserve one!!! I am impressed with that share. I am sure that I will reread that ever so often just to give myself that ok wink when I am wondering if I am on the right path or if I am being selfish. Thank you so much that was ever so beautiful. Keep sharing those insights, we can all benefit from them.
((Kitty))) Great post...i too feel at times i take one step forward and two back...love the bunny hop analogy. But, it is a program of progress..and that I do feel I am making. Again, ty for the post.
You put words on feeling I haven't even been able to bring to the surface. Thanks you soooo Kitty. Thanks for the little trail of bread crums. Maybe one day, I'll find myself out of the woods.
The bunny hop! Thats my favorite dance. Dancing with the bunnies!
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"Yo se lo que debimos hacerlo" (I know what I've got to be.)
