...it's interesting what brings one to a standstill and why.

I caught myself doing this today.  I sat down at my desk and was thinking that it was time I sorted out some of the papers that had accumulated during this past week alone.  When I finally got to the bottom of the pile I noticed that most of the papers were in fact to do with Al-anon, some were my jottings, some of them were circulars, some were Al-anon literature that had been sent to me through the post but most of them were my collected inventories and workings from my fourth step.

Two hours later, where did that go, I found that I COULD SPOT the differences in me...and I ended up with a huge smile on my face.

Not much has changed as far as my relationships are concerned.  Nothing has changed as far as my employment status, my financial status is even more rocky than it was six months ago and my health has been through the floor and back again.  However, my perceptions of my health was unrecognisable as was my approach to the sadness of my broken realtionships with my husband and the rest of my family.  So too were the changes in my approach to both my son and my daughter; and as a result of that alone my depression and capabilities to deal with these troughs have gone through the roof. 

My fear has dissisted and I now face each day with more confidence knowing that I will be able to cope, that I can ask for help, and there are others who love me and care for me and support me who have given me a purpose in life.  One of, sharing caring and supporting others too on their own journeys. 

I am not alone, and there is NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING that I have experienced that someone else, somewhere in the world, hasn't also experienced and come through.  They may have perceived it differently, dealt with it differently, and come through it via another route, though basically we have probably experienced the same wrongs, hurts, fears.

If ever there was any doubt in my mind that I had moved on, progressed in my recovery programme and began to understand myself more before these two hours, there was no doubt in my mind after these two hours.

How delightful.  So I thought I would share my joy at my achievements with you, my dear family as it is your input that has brought about these changes.

If I had not come here, trusted, confided, opened up and shared I would not be able to say...hey I am in a much better place than I was just eight months ago...and I am looking forward to further improvement, recovery.

I know that this programme encourages each and every one of us to take stock at times, for it is only when we reflect backwards that we can see the distance we have already come.

Thank you, with all of my heart for the beauty of this recovery programme.

Suzannah
      still searching for the behind every cloud.