The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been spending some time around people who are happy, content with themselves and their friends and family, have a sense of humor, are not all freaked out and weird all the time. Are predictable and calm and make good decisions.
Its quite interesting.
I have been seeing this guy (well, now its long distance) and he puts himself first, is respectful of himself, is really a happy person so he is fun to be with. Not much gets him down and if it does he deals with it and moves on.
Recently, I have been pursuing a job that I have been crazy about. So has he- in Hawaii. I wanted him to pursue one on the mainland so we could see each other a little more. There are no jobs in my field there in Hawaii. Anyway, he is pursing this job he wants there and at first I was irritated and bummed that he did not want to work on finding work here on the mainland. Then it finally dawned on me- I need to do the exact same thing! I need to pursue my dream job wherever that happens to be because that is what is best for me and is what is going to make me feel really good!!! NOT focusing on him and what he is doing- I have no control over any of that! Instead of getting bummed about what he is doing, I started getting thrilled about what I was doing! And I have a lot of thrilling things going on!
Thanks to HP, healthy people are entering my life as great role models- now I have someone to role model ambition to me- I have ALWAYS been so modest and put others in front of me much to my own loss and self-sabotage to try to look good and people please. Never worked for me. I am learning! Hugs, J.
I sometimes think I don't know what is "healthy". I know for me I proceed with real caution around people because I tend to approach the world with "rose" colored glasses. I also tend to rush into relationships.
I know for me compromise is a huge issue. I compromised myself down to nothing with the A. I learned to do that as a child. I have never really had a relationship where someone encouraged me to be ambitious. I know I absolutely know how to be around dysfunctional people.
I could see wanting someone to change their path so I could be happy as just falling back into old patterns of looking to outside sources for my happiness when true happiness only lies within. I'm glad you could change your focus back to that fantastic things going on in your life.
Way to go girl! This is exactly what recovery is about: taking back your life and living the life you so richly deserve. I'm proud of you.
Many years ago, before I was with the A I was going through a rough patch. I made a very conscious decision NOT to be around people who were bringing me down. It was hard because I cut ties with lots of relatives. My sister did not understand this because she believes in family no matter what they do. I can't be so generous in spirit as she is. They were unhealthy people in my life and I didn't need the extra stress it added being around them.
With the exception of the A when he's not sober, I try very hard not to get involved with people who will bring me down. I try hard and stay out of the drama of work (easier said than done) and I certainly stay away from the relatives/old friends who bring me down. I no longer feel guilty about this as I use to. In order to get healthy you can't eat ice cream every day (darn it! ) but you can choose healthier alternatives. Everything in moderation (including my family & unhealthy relationships). Who knows where your dream job may take you? Best of luck in finding it. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Way to put the focus back where it belongs, Jean. What a good positive outlook you have gained.
In recovery,
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
This is exactly what recovery is about: taking back your life and living the life you so richly deserve. I'm proud of you. 
) but you can choose healthier alternatives. Everything in moderation (including my family & unhealthy relationships). Who knows where your dream job may take you? Best of luck in finding it. Much love and blessings to you and your family.