The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I had to chuckle the moment I opened ODAT tonight. I usually read it in the morning, but didn't this morning - got busy being a "human doing" today instead of a "human being".
I've been feeding myself self-pity nonsense this evening after I found life wasn't going to go the way I wanted it to with my AH tonight (gee... and I was disappointed and surprised, WHY?)
Anyhow, the first line in May 25th's ODAT was "Why do I do what I do?"
That definitely got a snort out of me when I decided to pick it up and read it based on how I'm feeling.
Yet again, I just set myself up to be disappointed. And the other big question I have for myself is "why won't I just let myself get over it?"
It's because my mind likes to keep diving back into The Past Files and deciding "Oh - the last time THIS happened, THAT happened, and it wasn't good at all!"
"So. Freaking. WHAT!" is what I keep trying to tell myself. Get over it. Stop dredging up the past! In any case, there is one big thing I can change between the last time something like this happened and now. I can choose not to do the same thing I did the last time this happened. Last time this happened, I created misery for myself with the choices that I made.
No way. Not this time. Not again.
So, time yet again to sit down and spend some more quality time with my buddy... my HP. All too often I forget my HP is right there, just waiting for me to have that lightbulb go off and have me going, "Oh yeah! I'm not alone... I have my HP and I can look to my HP for guidance and comfort.
Whew. That makes me feel better... it really does.
As always, just so grateful for this program. It brings me back to earth and reminds me I have choices. I can choose to be miserable and unhappy, or I can choose to let a thing drop and still enjoy the rest of my evening. I'm going to lean towards the second choice. I'm going to lean that way NOW.
It is amazing just how many times that happens to me too. Although I do not possess an ODAT I do have Courage to change and Hope for today.
The only way forward for me is to be a "human being" as I am constantly being stopped from that pattern of "human doing". Guess that is all about living with my disabilities right now and letting be rather than going to do.
However, I too find gratitude for this program and this family and for you too at this moment in time. Guess it is all about prioritizing and in order to get that right I find that Al-anon slogan "First things first" is a great way to go.
Concentrating on being a "human being" is always so stabilizing for me and helps me to not get lost in the "human doing" process. Since I shared this difference, [and have begun to practice it daily] I have found that I am making much more headway.
Thank you Aloha, have a good day today. Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
Great post! I think I do certain things as a way of self sabotaging my recovery or myself. Then it begs the question why am I doing it? Am I testing myself to see how I react? Am I doing it out of fear? Or is it a way of keeping me on track? Hmm.... things to think on. I am as perfect as I can be, which isn't! But then who wants to be perfect? That would be boring. At least I keep it interesting! Thanks for the reminder. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Yup, stop & think or better yet, read some al anon literature before acting and act rather than react. Wish I could be wired to an alarm system that would ring a tone for "read then act" or a siren for "warning - reacting"
we have choices, why do I forget........... ah, be gentle with ourselves too. we still have courage to get back on the horse again, as well as, ride the horse like debilyn mentioned.
thanks for this post as I sure do relate to every word you wrote.
hugs, ddub
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
