The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Priorities are not merely something we establish once a year, once a month, or even once a week. Our priorities are visible in the myriad decisions we make and actions we take each day.
Being closely in touch with our inner selves and our Higher Power helps assure that our priorities reflect our genuine needs and desires. When we are securely centered, we will not be unduly influenced by other people but will know what is truly important to us and necessary for our health and well being.
We set our priorities when we do our grocery shopping and plan our meals. We set them when we choose between playing tennis or reading a book or going to see a friend. We set them when we decide how to respond to a negative comment from a co-worker. Our daily priorities reflect who we are and determine what we are becoming. Let's set them with care.
Today, may I put first things first.
You are reading from the book:
Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.
I think the hardest thing al anon ever confronted me with was how I had made the alcholics and the alcholism in my life the #1 priority. That, at a certain point, I had chosen to make these people and their destructive lifestyle my own, and that, now, in recovery, I had to make new choices, or I was going to continue to live as I had always. Initially, when I was confronted with this, it really, really hurt. Were they implying that I had wanted to be abused? That I wanted to live in poverty? That I wanted to be in this life that I had known? No, of course, no one was. But what was being said was that at a certain point, I had to take responsibility for the way my life was, or I was going to keep recreating the victimhood lifestyle that I was living. I was not to blame for how things were in my life, but now I was responsible. My priorities had indeed become skewed; as things had become so dysfunctional, being a survivor was so key that I lost all sense of anything else. Now, I know that people that go through life just surviving are miserable and they hate their lives. They expect other people to fufill their souls because they can't or won't do it for themselves. I can't do that anymore. My joy in life is living. Not in surviving. My priority in life? To live, in recovery, ODAAT./
This is a wonderful share. It really speaks to me today. Thank you.
In recovery,
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
Ive heard it said before that first I was a victim, then I became a survivor then I became a thriver. There is no question I did not "choose" to be victimized by an exA more than I did my family or origin nevertheless it felt very very familiar to me, making it unfamiliar was a task and still a task not to flip into normal roles of taking "it". One is simply not to respond when someone chooses to victimize me. I can see the motive now coming and I dodge it some of the time. I flip between feeling a victim and a survivor 98% of the time, 2% of the time I can be a thriver and I know much of that comes from the al anon actions I take daily prompted by my sponsor who is an inspiraton and a guide. There is no pushing this forward for me, its the baseline I'm at. For me the victimization at one time was total paralysis so to "feel" a victim rather than to act it is new, to be hell bent on survival is also key. Sometimes it feels grim, sometimes numb, sometimes fed up but I am ready to "survive" rather than be "destroyed" these days. Being a thriver is something I aim for, I'm not there yet most the time but I have an aim now and I didn't before. Progress not perfection.
I have read and reread this several times as what you have written and what Maresie has added is exactly what I am struggling with this week. It somehow seems wrong to be happy or have gratitude when things are hard or sad but I am starting to see the light dimly. I called my sponsor to verify my understanding of what this is, to be sure I was on the right track. I am starting to get this and my sponsor reminded me how it takes 21-30 days to even begin to have a new habit. My head hurts from brain cell growth I think. l
Thank you for explaining this in a way I could start to grasp and for helping me to grow. hugs, ddub
__________________
"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
