The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My birthday is next week. He has ignored everyone for the past 5 years. So I'm gonna just not worry about what he does or does not do this year.
I'm gonna plan a little bitty party for myself, complete with a cake of my choice,(kinda cool to get to pick my own flavor??never done that before, as I would have thought of it as selfish..) but this time I will plan my day as I want it to be.
If he happens to "remember" fine, if not I won't let it effect my day one little bit. (Prior to alanon I had said "if he ignores one more birthday...bla bla bla... now I can plan my own party and not worry about what he does or does not do!!! Go me!!!
I find the low expectation stuff hard going. I had huge barriers to it, nevertheless it is infinitely better than having secretly huge expectations and repeatedly being devastated.
Thats the way to detach. Have your own party. Who cares what HE wants to do, or does.
I attended my first f2f meeting on my last birthday. My AH didn't so much as buy me a card. It was the best present I ever gave myself.
Now I don't plan my life around my A. I let him know what is going on in our lives. If he wants to be a part of it, thats fine. If he doesn't thats fine too.
Have a very Happy Birthday!!
And Many Many More!!
Claudia
__________________
A person's a person no matter how small --Dr Suess
