The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Friday, before I went to divorce court I went parasailing (parachute behind a boat...) and immediately after I went and got my hair cut short, decided to dye it brown and now have a totally new much better style.... funny timing?
I'm still doing the weekday workout - 3 for 3 sofar this week.
I have decided to fight tooth and nail for the school to provide every opportunity to my daughter. I learned that because of NCLB they are REQUIRED to pay for private tutoring and were supposed to offer it and never did. I have a meeting on Friday.
Funny I was just thinking ... what to do with myself now that the drama is all gone (referring to the A) but in reality it's never really gone, it's just my battles are much more important now! So wish me the strength to say what needs to be said and do what needs to be done for my daughter on Friday. I'm a little nervous because there will be mulitple teachers and the principal vs. me and two people from the supportive service agency (thank god I'm not alone!!!) It IS a very me VS them feeling there. 4 more weeks of school, she's been failing math for 1/2 the year and this 9 weeks will make 3/4. It makes me really angry to know that they had resources to help her and just brushed my concerns aside. I'm not taking NO for an answer, my next step is looking for a lawyer.
YOU GO GIRL. You have so much to offer your loved ones. The opportunities that are opening up in front of you, the life god is unfolding for you, and the life that is changing for you. I am just in awe. I am SO EXCITED FOR YOU. I want pictures of your new hair. YOU GO GIRL.
i am glad you are feeling so confident. I don't have any experience advocating for children. I do know that I often feel "victimized" and I constantly have to look at that.
I know that "mama bear" feeling of fighting for my child. Been there. Done that. But if she's failing with four weeks left of school, I would have to divide my time between fighting the system and getting some real help real quick for my child. Should she repeat the grade? No doubt the school system dropped the ball if they were supposed to offer tutoring. Did you ever inquire about it before now?
It's SO frustrating when we're alone fighting a bureacracy. Good for you for taking it on! I just hope that lawyers don't muddy up the situation and make getting her the help she needs that much more difficult by having the school system become defensive and inflamed. I always think it's best to get what you need before becoming antagonistic with the only ones who can give it to you. That's just me.
Good for you for all your changes and your feelings of "standing strong" I really do respect that. Hope you don't mind my sharing a little just in case it applies to you may not at all.....I am not sure of your childs needs so forgive me but I've had opportunity to observe some things that may or may not be helpful to you.
This is from over 15 years of working with individuals with disabilities and their families.
Your child will benefit from you working WITH the school to make certain she gets the best opportunties possible. NOT fighting the school tooth and nail. Most schools and providers do not withhold info about services they may just not be as aware or as good at their jobs as we would hope need or wish or even as they should be. Please don't take it personally. Speaking of teachers and school admin with respect (even when we are really not feeling that way so much) teaching children respect for school gives them more opportunties to excell.
Do as you are and find out about all available services as much as possible then, ask, suggest or inquire about these for your child as opposed to challenging why it wasn't already done. You will soon gain the rep. of the mom that is "in the know" and if they are cutting corners on your daughters services they will quickly step up. But you can be the good guy, while still getting for your daughter what she needs.
Teaching your child as much personal responsibility as possible is great, teach them to be grateful for services-no one deserves or has a "right" to any benefit or service they are a gift from tax payers and hopefully someday your child will be able to give back too.
People with disabilities benefit from opportunties to act on their own behalf as much as possible. I am currently working with a downs syndrome young man who could probably speak (he is now none verbal) and could follow instructions BUT his mom has and does accuse everyone of mistreating or discriminating and speaks for him all the time. He objects to instruction-that's what she has taught him to do. She has actually made this child much more disabled than he really is. By "protecting him" standing up for him etc.
Parents who teach children to politely take care of themselves and show respect for those around them then those children will have better opportunties as an adults. Disabled or not.
It's always great to hear of a parent who is actively involved in their children's lives..............however this is the part that you may not want to read.....so take what you want and leave the rest!
I am an educator of 34 years (the last 3 in an Alternative School). There are so many options that are available to you because you are a taxpayer and your child attends school without tuition. One of the few countries in the world that do so. I remember reading that your daughter had to attend Saturday School-was there tutoring provided at that time? From my knowledge that is when the school allows the child to either make up work or get help with work. If there is none, then there are "chores" to be done around the school. Saturday School is not doled out for minor infractions because frankly-no teacher/administrator wants to work on Sat and we are attempting to accomodate those working parents.
As far as the school required to offer private tutoring according to the statutes in NCLB-that is not across the board. There are stipulations (as in all laws), the school must not have met their AYP (annual yearly progress) goals and if they have not then one mandate is that the school offers tutoring-that is usually in the form of teachers tutoring before or after school-those options are always there and EVERYONE has the opportunity to attend.
Try not alienate those people who are there to educate your daughter! We/they do not gain any sort of satisfaction from making things difficult in the pursuit of your daughter becoming educated! Teachers teach because they love their job-not to buy that big mansion!
So with that being said-I wish you luck in your meeting! and remember-teachers are on your side-we have the same goal: Educate your child!
Hmm, I was still thinking about you parasailing and how that was!
I see alot of good suggestions here concerning your daughter. I do like to believe that teachers are a bit above normal human emotions (such as simply disliking a child, or being lazy or burned out, or being a teacher for the idea of the vacations and consistent paycheck). And in I go with the idea that my children's teachers are all mature and there for the right reasons. Imagine my shock when I found out that some of those teachers are flawed humans just like me! One is even an active alcoholic!
I got the same shock when I met a group of nurses that went into nursing for the money. That blew my mind. My mother is a nurse and she wanted to be a nurse from the time she can remember to help people and comfort them. She and my grandmother told me the story all my life. For my mother it was a calling and she would have done it even if she weren't paid. Same with an aunt who was a teacher. She taught because she loved the subject she taught and she loved the age group she taught. She had many opportunities to go on and teach college level but stayed with the middle schoolers because she loved them.
So, I always look at people in their choosen profession with the thought that they are doing their job because they LOVE it and want the best for their customers. That is why I do what I do. And even so, I have become burned out, jumped on the "this stinks" bandwagon and lost my passion. I know it can happen and I know that as a parent I have to advocate for my child no matter what I am up against. Reality is unbending.
I would be pissed off too if I were you. Dealing with school systems can be just like dealing with the court system or the medical system or any system. Like banging your head against a wall. Frustrating. It is YOUR daughter's future that is at stake. I am sure that they are blaming you for her failures. You can blame them but what does that accomplish, really. I guess if you can put the blame aside and force them to stay on topic and get the services you need for your daughter. Simple, no emotions, just get it done. Is there a possibility of getting her to pass this year? I don't agree that holding her back and making her repeat the grade is a good idea. Especially if it was her attitude that kept her from learning. That, IMO, would make the attitude worse. Why should she have to do it again, she's bored, she already knows it, etc. Holding a kid back should be because they haven't comprehended the material NOT because they have a bad attitude.
The 13 years olds I teach have the worst attitudes. I mean, it is hard to NOT run screaming frm the room, they are so annoying. And their attitude is what keeps them from doing what they have learned. And I know they have learned what I taught because as soon as they are about 15, it's all there. They know it and they do it. It is bizzare. But it is true. A bad attitude is a barrier, but it doesn't mean she doesn't know the material.
" bandwagon and lost my passion. I know it can happen and I know that as a parent I have to advocate for my child no matter what I am up against. Reality is unbending.