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Well, I guess you could say that today is the kick-off for our divorce. We will be meeting together with our attorneys this afternoon. If anyone is out there praying this morning, I sure would appreciate you throwing me in there.
I want to treat it like an al-anon meeting - listen and stay quiet mostly. I am paying my attorney big bucks and need to trust she knows what she is doing. I don't want to throw in any suggestions of how to fix our financial situation. I pray the answers will be pretty clear cut. I want to stay kind, but be able to defend myself if need be. For some reason, when I am around my AH I take on things that are not real. For example, one time he accused me of not working for the past 14 yrs and I completely forgot that even though I was mainly a stay-at-home mom, I had been working per diem (fill-in/vacations) for 10 and regular part-time for the past 2. It's so wierd.
So, any tips or suggestions from those who've been through it, please feel free. We are going the Collaborative route. I am pleased because it is my attorney's expertise and my AH and his attorney agreed to it even though it is an area of law he is just learning about. As a matter of fact, she happens to be leading the training for this type of law to my ah's attorney group. Just a wierd coincidence?
I'm sad, relieved and really scared. I'm going to go read my meditations and then turn it all over to God. If I can swing it, I'll try and sit with an empty seat next to me, just for Him.
Blessings, Lou
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Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace. ~ Ronald Reagan~
Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't ~Marguerite Bro~
Save 2 seats. And when he asks why the empty seats tell him one is for my HP and the other is for my friend Seren. Infact, when they go to take a seat say "YOU CAN"T SIT THERE!!! That's where, CG, Jerry, debilyn, glad, etc.....are sitting! Y'all can stand over there by the door!!!" LOL! Then tell him not only did you work the past 15 years raising his children, you also had a JOB!
No advice here as in my case there was no colaborating with an abusive freak. I wish you well and pray that y'all can get thru this with as little pain as possible so as to salvage as much respect for each other as possible for the sake of the kids.
Remember it is a few hours out of one day, you can endure this. Like a root canal, or birth....it hurts before, gets really intense and then it's over but the end result is so worth it. You'll always remember the pain as it fades to memory but it will be over. There is an end and beyond the end is a beautiful new beginning.
Prayers are on the way. Pipers Kitty and I have our fingers, toes, legs, arms and tail (hers not mine ) crossed for good luck. If things get tense say the serenity prayer. I keep an Alanon coin with me and grip it when things get tense. Or sometimes I use a worry stone. Boy have I worn one flat! You'll be okay. We're right here with you. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I have a court thing coming up, too on Tuesday - not the same situation as yours, but one thing I've been working on telling myself is that my HP is going to be there with me.
God is in the judge, God is in the courtroom, God is in the chairs we'll be sitting in... God is in me, God is in my AH... and yes, God is even in our landlord. I have to put my trust in God that whatever the outcome, it is all in my best interest in the long haul.
Do you have "Hope For Today"? there's a really great reading in it from April 28 that basically tells me that my HP sees the entire picture while I do not, so even if things don't quite turn out the way I hope for them to, there's a really good reason for it.
I hope all goes well. Divorcing is wrenching but sometimes it is necessary. I try to keep an open mind about my own financial situation made much much much worse by the A's actions.
Hope this got off to a good start. sounds like you had a well thought out plan to take with you and even looking for an extra seat for HP too. Outstanding!! You have come so far here, we are all growing and getting stronger day by day. wishing you blessings too.
hugs, ddub
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
. Infact, when they go to take a seat say "YOU CAN"T SIT THERE!!! That's where, CG, Jerry, debilyn, glad, etc.....are sitting! Y'all can stand over there by the door!!!" LOL! Then tell him not only did you work the past 15 years raising his children, you also had a JOB!
Pipers Kitty and I have our fingers, toes, legs, arms and tail (hers not mine 