The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Ever feel like you are running in circles or yup, hitting your head against the wall? Yeah, me too. Awareness, acceptance, action again & again. Things change but not anything that makes a different result. Maybe I can figure this out with writing now or MIP help so......
ah is courteous, kind, on the surface and even a heart to heart talk - wow!; leaves but calls daily and I miss him rather than indifferent or anger; sad & hard times with kids missing school plus I face some truths w/ sponsor from past with nightmares and panic attack but I get through it eventually and celebrate, it wasn't about me!! my past was about them, cut those strings, melt resentment, I'm free!
sent email about week re kids to ah but no response & no call ? returns home and no response or concern???? oh yeah, here we go again I thought I saw progress for us but forgot I should only say "fine" to how's it going. Any other answer is confusing or complicated or too much.
I was feeling so fine now after a dificult week but AH puts a damper on the mood - detach and don't go there. But I am so disappointed again and find it so hard to believe that we do this dance of one step forward and three steps back. Just how long do I have to dance, to realize that was not progress but just a slip in the right direction for a brief moment.
I will hold on to the reality that I have taken three giant steps forward in my own program and feel the happy feelings of what came with some hard truths and resolutions. AH will leave again in 2 days so learn again, try again not angry, not indifferent, no expectations - detach, focus on me.
change so I get a different result,hmmm ...... any other ideas? maybe I am making something simple difficult?
thks for your support, ddub
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
I was feeling so fine now after a dificult week but AH puts a damper on the mood - detach and don't go there. But I am so disappointed again and find it so hard to believe that we do this dance of one step forward and three steps back. Just how long do I have to dance, to realize that was not progress but just a slip in the right direction for a brief moment.
I don't know what the answer is for you as far as how long to dance. I only know what the answer was for me. I like to watch Dr. Phil, and I have often heard him say that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
I left the exAH in 1986, and he picked someone else to dance the dance with him. She got to spend the next 20 years where I had left off with him.
I am so grateful that it was her, and not me.
I much prefer my life minus an active A in my life, and pursuing the things that I want to do while dancing my own dance of peace and serenity.
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"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson
