The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just went to my first AA meeting despite not being an A. I bawled through most of the meeting. I caused the woman that was heading hte meeting enough that she wanted to talk to me afterwards. She told me about Alateen and Alanon. Once I got up the urge to speak to her (I had kept saying to my friend, Nate, I don't wanna say it and he would say "you don't have to say anything") then I finally told the woman I'm ACoA - Adult Child of an Alcoholic. I am going back 2morrow with my friend.
Well what about coming to the chat room here. You can learn how to download the software stuff from the Board. There is always someone there. When I first joined I bawled in that room for weeks. I literally sat here and watched everyone share and cried my eyes out. I felt so much pain.
Look for as many resources as you can. You deserve them. There are also ACA meetings here and a board. Why not post there too.
Get as much support as you can.
As a codependent I often go to the butchers to buy bread. I was compulsive about it. When I lived with the A I compulsively looked for support from him when there was none!
That's a trait we have. I'm glad the speaker was sympathetic. For me its such a task to identify my need then work on filling it. I find it hard going but the more practice I have the better.
There will come a day Lanchas, if you continue to work the program that you will not feel the urge to cry about your connection to the alcoholics in your life or what happened as a result. Keep coming back there's lots here for you that will save your life for yourself.
Lanchas, I cried and cried for weeks and months at first. Its completely normal when one hears these stories- part of it is fear, relief, anger, it all cycles through. Its a good sign, I think- the crying. I know I needed to get it out. Hugs, J.
