The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Some of you will remember that I first came here, devastated by the relationship I had with my daughter, well to be honest the relationship I did NOT have with my daughter.
Since then I have been learning how to focus on me; to change the things I could in me and accept the things I could not change in her. I have come to accept her just as she is and have let go.
It was really hard to do and took quiet a determination to just let go, let God.
Things have been changing in this relationship; so much so that after popping in on the way back from her grandfather's funeral and staying overnight ...with her boyfriend, her son, my son and his girlfriend...she telephoned to tell me that her boyfriend had proposed to her on her birthday, Monday 28 April. I was so happy.
She and I have been messaging each other, not regularly, but often and I have kept the conversation light and courteous. I have not been gushing, eager, pushy or enquiring; simply played it down, cool, calm and collected, showing interest and delight but not demanding or expecting anything more or other than the communication that was taking place at the time.
Well, it seems to have been paying off and that call on Monday was unexpected and delightful. She said the children missed me and wanted to see me and that she and her boyfriend would like it if I would come down to celebrate their engagement and stay a couple of days over the coming bank holiday.
Imagine, I never thought that this would take place. I never thought I would be going to stay with her and share such joy. She has not told her father and I was the first person she called. I asked her if her brother knew and she said no. Stunning. She is going to tell him this coming weekend.
I am going to take everyone out for dinner. It will be the first time we will have all been together since Christmas 1995!
If this is not a miracle, then I am a dutchman! One day at a time. One step at a time. I will savour each moment as they unfold, and I will remember the serenity that this programme has given me and remember to work my programme whilst I am away.
I am going down tomorrow and will be back on Tuesday of next week, although I have an alternative place to stay and emergency coach travel planned should I need it.
Dear family, I am so delighted, just needed to let you know some wonderful news and share my joy with you.
Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
When we truly let go and let HP steer the ship, he straightens the course for us.
Congratulations!!! I am so happy for you and your daughter's news. That strategy works for me and my boys also, letting go in love and accepting them for who they truly are.
love ya, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
You have no idea how happy I am to hear of your news. As you know you are always in my prayers.
Congratulations on your daughters engagement. I will be praying for you as your family gathers together that this will be a time of healing and restoration for all of you.
Love and Blessings to you and your family,
Claudia
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A person's a person no matter how small --Dr Suess
Awesome share! Congratualtions on your daughter's engagement. I hope they will be very happy. Have a wonderful trip. Hurry home to us, we'll miss you. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
((((((((((((Suzannah)))))))))))))), how WONderful.
I'm also so impressed to see that you are remembering your program in your joy and already have a planB. I hope you don't need it! Remember though that as it's a celebration, emotions are liable to run high, which is prime territory for everybody's "isms" to come out. And one my sponsor always reminds me of - remember it can be a wonderful TIME even if every MOMENT isn't wonderful - one bad moment, should it happen, doesn't mean the whole thing is ruined. Take something to put in your pocket - maybe a special coin, or even a printout of a favorite saying - that can be our virtual hands while you're away - if you need us - just reach your hand into your pocket, and there we are.
Oh, I am so happy for you. There is nothing like the relationship between a mother and daughter. It can bee sooo good when its good and sooo bad when it's bad. I am glad you are finding a way to help make if good.
Also good thoughts from TTM. Very glad to see you have a plan B just in case. Remember to keep those expectations in check. LOL That's always been my downfall.
Congratulations on your daughters engagement. I hope you have a wonderful visit!
In recovery,
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
