The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In my experience,even if I don't have an A in my life,what I have learned here at MIP alanon, my life is ever so much better.
I am a better person.
I took a bit off from the internet pet lists I am on.Was feeling so crummy losing animals right and left to old age.
My attitude and heart were very sick,nightmares, depressed,not wanting to be here anymore. Then I worked on how to fix me. Began accepting the love of who I do have, what I have. Drenching myself in the positives very strongly.
Grief,loss, confusion,frustration,wanting revenge on and on are so darn BIG.
Sooooo I made them small. Feel it and then go on and immerse myself in hard good work that I love.
Using the s. prayer, one day at a time.Taking care of things and letting them go.
Not ever wanting revenge or anything on the AH has been so cool.I feel so sad for him and the gal he lives with. They will sadly never know the serenity many of us have thru it all.
My disability caused a lot of pain. Have learned to not let it stop me. If I have to take a day and lay down,I do. But find I feel crummier. Later I am up busy doing chores. Have learned I can hurt but if my attitude is good,the physical stuff is only an obstacle I find options to get around.
If I want to do something I do it.period.
Anyway for me working at how I look at things,not judgeing or making their crap my own, I feel so much better.
I don't believe we know what anyone else things or know the reason they do what they do.
I have been around A's enough that they are so self absorbed they don't even think about the things we do. I know for sure,"Out of sight, out of mind" is how they live.
So when I see the pain of how they treat our kids, I know they are not doing it to be vindictive.They just honestly do not have the bond a non a does. NOT saying all A's either. I am saying my experience.
So I am burning today, lugging long wood fence panels over and going to the dump!!! (o: sounds fun to me!!!
here is this:
"Help me to find peace of mind whithin myself by uniting myself with God's power and guidance.That is the spirtual way out of my difficulties-----the only sure way"
Love,debilyn Happy slave to the animal family at Potter's Eden
Debilyn - I always look forward to your posts and am SO glad you're here. I like what you said about the A's being so self absorbed that they don't even think about the things we do. That sure has been my experience! And when I really come to believe that it's NOT ME, but them that's creating the distance, then I can quit peddling so hard to "make things happen". There's so much serenity in letting go.
Yep, I am one of them that has asked that question, and quite recently too and I am so glad that you decide always to STAY where you belong, right here in the heart of this great family.
Yes you should be here, you qualify, and you know it...but it seems that even the BEST of us ask that question of ourselves from time to time.
I give thanks to God that you are here and know that I am better for that fact.
Always, always appreciate your big heart and your love and your wisdom; will continue to do so too.
Love you, Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
Potter's Eden is glad you are here. I love your posts and your animals. I just had a friend over for supper. After awhile she started crying: no one cares, all she has is her pets, nothing can seem to fill that hole, she doesn't have anyone to depend on and so on. I tried to share with her the benefits of the program for me. She said that she can't understand what I am saying. She said that everything has just turned out to be crap. I said I think that is what life seems to be all about. It is crap and we accept it and make do. She left in pain and pissed. Better keep the program to myself for now.
experiences shared bring fresh light on lessons learned or new light on lessons to be learned. Today when I recognized the tension of confused, circling thoughts, I focused on a single flower to bring some calm relief. Staying with basics like the SP and positive thoughts can continue to help so I will continue to use them. Thank you for the reminder, often it is the little things like slogans that can make the biggest difference.
Missed you and glad to read your post.
hugs, ddub
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
My little Ruby, a tiny Siamese I have was out yesterday lying in the sun on a huge pillow that I put out for her. She loved it. She looked so happy and so content. I felt such warm sweet love for her.
I dont' know what the A feels I have to say. I know he became a monster with drugs and pretty soon everything was self absorbed, it was what could he get! I don't know that I have compassion for him anymore since he did so much damaged. I do know that I cannot be around him because he is so vindictive, malignant and plain mean.
I can't say I think about where the A is, who he is with, what he is doing. That is my level of detachment. Whatever he has, had will have is totally tainted by drugs and alcohol. I don't think much about his friends or family either. They certainly didn't think much of the incredible hardship he put me through and what I have to suffer as a result.
I do find my animals incredily fulfilling but I also find caring for them in really reduced circumstances very very difficult. If I did not have my animals there is no question I would have other choices. At the same time I wouldn't have thier love and joy to share.
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