The material presented
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello everyone! It's been awhile since I have been here. (sept 07) I don't know I guess I thought I was Ok and My hubby was finally realizing that I wasn't putting up with his crap anymore. Man oh man was I wrong. Granted things has been much better than it had been in the past. He had quit drinking AGAIN, and in the last few months started our own home based business. He had quit for a few months and slowly but surely he started drinking again. I'm back to square one with myself and need my serenity back. He came home last night and says that he thinks it is time to call it quits. HE SAID THAT!! I'm usually the one to call it quits. He did come home drunk last night and I really didn't want to talk to him, I should have just walked away and waited til today to have a serious conversation. It told him that too. He said "now is a good time so I can be sincere." What a Joke. After all these years of hanging on to this marriage now he's ready????? Man I'm so hurt and confused. He said to me that we just have nothing in common. WHAT?? It took him almost 10 years to figure that out? He's right about that. We don't. And I think the biggest problem is that I dn't drink! He won't admit to that but I know. I keep thinking to myself that his reason for all of this was that to turn it around on me. Maybe he felt that I was going to be upset for coming home so drunk (to the point his uncle had to bring him home) and leaving his car elsewhere. He asked me to take him to the car this morning and I told him NO. He asked me to take him to work I said NO. That's his problem right? Now I have to go to work and act like everything is fine. I hope I can make it thru the day! Thanks for listening guys. Silvana
Good job! Wow, you said no that was very strong of you. I agree that's HIS problem. It's funny - when I was reading the part about how he said you had nothing in common I thought Ya... he's a drunk and you're not... LOL and then you said it. Well, sometimes making a list of pros and cons is the best way for me to make tough decisions (calling it quits is a very tough one) so maybe that would help you. Sometimes when you see it in writing it makes it more real and I remember thinking lots of times good lord how did I ever put up with that? I think it even more now after being away from it for almost 2 years. If you remember is was Sept 07 when I came here too. My divorce will be final on cinco de mayo...
I think you did great, Silvana. You refused to bail him out of his mess and you recognised that you need to reach out. Good job.
Welcome back!
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
I too was away for a while, it's nice to be back it's like coming home. My A didn't quit drinking but he was in a controled state, so I am back when he lost control. Hugs
We started talking a little yesterday. He of course apologized and that he wishes he could take back what he said. I told him it was too late, he said it. I knew in the back on my mind it was said to turn it around on me, and that he really didn't want to end things with me. But it still hurts. He recognizes that he has a problem, he really does. He just can't face the fact that if he quits he will neve be able to touch a drink EVER again. He says everything I want to hear, and I want to beleive him but I just don't. Too many broken promises. And now that this all came up about the fact we are just not good together, maybe he's right. He says we don't hug, kiss, etc anymore. But doesn't realize that it's his drinking that did that to me. Everytime I relapse, he does too. Make sense? I don't know. I love him very much and I swear (like I said it past posts) He's a GREAT HUSBAND AND FATHER to my children. He's just got this one problem which is a BIG problem. And until he gets some help things will never change. He spoke to a friend of his last night that is a recovering Alcoholic for 7 years now. I was happy to hear that he called him. His friend told him that he would go to an AA meeting with him if he would like. Not sure what else they talked about. But right now, Today, I have just pushed myself away. It sucks. Today he's acting like nothing happen, which irritates me even more!!! My sister in law says that we have lack of communication which I agree in one hand. But on the other hand I feel like I have expressed myself enough to him about how i feel. Ok Well I keep Blabbing to I better stop now. I stayed home from work yesterday depressed as hell. Not today. I'm going to go to work and try to not thnk about it.
