The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My AH, myself, our daughter and her boyfriend will be going to Las Vegas on Friday. We promised our daughter that when she turned 21, we would take her to Vegas, and the time has come. I wish I could get excited about it.
I feel instead like I will be going out onto a battlefield. I know I will need all of my AlAnon tools, but certain things that I use to cope will be unavailable such as being able to leave the room for solace.
I have been spending a lot of time alone with my HP for the past few days. This has been very comforting, but yet I still have a feeling of dread. Las Vegas is a very excting place, I have been there before, but when my AH is drinking, I find that it is better for me to put some distance between myself and him. I don't relish spending a lot of time alone though, and I also don't want to be like a third wheel with my daughter and her boyfriend.
My AH told me the other day that he wanted this time to be like a second honeymoon for us. I wish I could believe that, but since he is drunk most of the time I seriously doubt it.
Thanks for listening everyone. I'll let you know how it goes.
Love,
Claudia
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A person's a person no matter how small --Dr Suess
Aloha Caludia...use one of those email services that they have laying around everywhere and let us know how it's going. And by the way dear sister...there are meetings in Vegas also. Soooo you might want to step out for a couple of hours and go meet some out-of-town family members.
Attitude attitude attitude...."Claudia's gonna have a good time!!"
Family trips and less rooms to live in are not fun for me either. But I have found comfort reading in a quiet corner of a lobby (if there is such a thing in Vegas?), the swimming pool, exercise room and my favorite, the computer many motels have in the lobby.
On a recent trip there were 6 computers set up for tourists at two stand up kiosks and very busy. I asked the front desk about any others and found a room on the lower level near the business conference rooms. It was a room you needed your room key to enter so it was quiet or deserted evenings but safe and had 3 sit down computers & a printer. Perfect for my 2 teens & me when we wanted to get away from the room or family members.
Wishing you safe travels and some serenity too. hugs, ddub
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
I feel for you!! There is a possibility in the future of my work sending me out to our corporate offices sometime in the future, and those offices are in Las Vegas.
it excites me, but at the same time, I feel full of dread, because I'm sure AH would want to come along, and I know I'd personally like to try to get to some night clubs to go dancing, but Vegas instills in a lot of people the urge to drink to aide their partying. I'd love to have a good time, but not if it involves drinking!
Anyhow, that's in the unknown future, though - nothing's been planned, just briefly mentioned. Who knows when that will ever happen.
Loved Jerry's suggestion on Al-Anon meetings in vegas, though. Bet there's a lot of VERY experienced veteran members there with lots of great stuff to share.
Oh (((((((((Claudia))))))))))), how I wish I could come with you...we could go out to the meetings together and find a quite place to sit and read and chat or walk.
I am praying that you will find some safe and quite time and that it will not be the minefield that you have in your head at this time. I will be with you in spirit if not in body and I will be willing you the joy and peace and happiness that this celebration warrants.
What about using your hotel facilities to the max, say the swimming pool, the hot tub, the beauty salons, massage and health facilities - you know all that stuff that we ladies dream about but don't often get around to indulging in? Go for a manicure, a pedicure, a massage, a health-treatment session and build in a swim for pure indulgence of being in the water and getting away from everyone, even plan to go to the hair salon...several self indulgent hours to while away there...oh I so wish I was there I could do with a manicure and a massage myself.
Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
Have a safe trip. I have been to Las Vegas many, many years ago for a conferance. It isn't my thing, but I had fun "people watching." I am one of those travelers who actually likes to explore on my own. I have travelled to many cities alone and had a ball. Do some research and see what's out there. Be adventuresome. There's great wildlife out in the desert. If you can afford it, treat yourself to a all day spa package. Tell the A you need a just for you day and he's free to do what he wants. Turn him over to his HP. Just because you travel together doesn't mean you don't need some time apart (especially when they are active). Plan some things out with your daughter and her boyfriend. Like others have said, go meet some fellow Alanoers too. You know what a fun lot we can be. Hurry back to us. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
If you're sitting at a machine you're offered free drinks as long as you're there...all night long. I think vegas with a mean alcoholic would be very similar to hell. I wouldn't want to be there very long... and I think I'd be on my own a lot!
There are great things to see during the day outside of Vegas-the Valley of Fire, the Hoover Dam. Lake Mead and if you have the time and $$$, the north rim of the Grand Canyon and Cirque de Soleil are terrific. If the A needs to drink, he can sit in front of a slot machine all day and night and get free drinks. Perhaps it will be better than you expect. Laura