The material presented
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but, right now I am so hurt and so mad at the self righteous egotism of someone I love very much. She apologized but you know what? I'm still mad. I'm still hurt. I want her to hurt and be punished but I know that's the wrong attitude. I know I am powerless over her opinons. I know that I need to let it go especially since she apologized, I know there's so many of you that never get an apology at all. It's just that one of my buttons got pushed. "The I'm right, you're wrong and that's just how it is" button. I have a choice I can continue to feel like that child who is hurting inside me right now or I can choose to act like the adult I am. The only problem is that, that's easier said than done. Thanks for listening....
Roxie345 wrote:Sometimes I take a hot bath; or sit quiet by myself and just talk it out with my HP. That way he will help me to let it go.
I like both of those suggestions! Sometimes when that angry child in me flares up, I take the time to nurture that child and it does help me. (((hugs)))
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"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson
I too can relate. Sometimes they feel that an apology will solve everything, but you still have hurt feelings.
You are totally right, though, it is the wrong attitude. But knowing that won't make it hurt any less.
Roxy does have the right idea. The only one who can change my attitude is my HP. When I spend that quiet time listening to the wisdom that can only come from him, even though I still may not like the situation, I am always able to cope a lot better after giving it over to my HP.
Take Care,
Claudia
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A person's a person no matter how small --Dr Suess
For me, I have to get it out. Talking to hp is key, but also I have to write it down. I keep a journal.
I will write down to the person how I feel right or wrong. I don't give it to them to read it.but it makes me feel better.we have a right to our feelings whether they make sense or are right or wrong.
We can have lots of weird thoughts and feelings but not act on them or say them outloud to the person.
As I tell my AH all the time: "Women are always right even when we are wrong!" Of course I'm joking, but there are days I like to think so. When this happens at work, I have to grip my Alanon coin really, really hard and say the serenity prayer lots. When my buttons gets pushed there are times when I like to push back. I'm still working on that. I try really hard to walk away and refocus. We are human and you did the right thing by coming here and getting it out. Well done. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Are you or have you worked the steps yet?? I ask because sometimes when I find myself in a situation like that (one oftentime recurring problem person at work comes to mind), I try to do a mini 4th step on the person or the anger and resentment that I have and it helps me to resolve it and let it go. I spent so many years angry and resentful towards my AH that I do not want to waste anymore time with those emotions than I absolutely have to...it took a long time to realize that I was really only hurting myself!!
Yours in recovery,
SLS
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Do not be anxious about tomorrow; tomorrow will look after itself. The Bible, from Courage to Change, p.138
Do you have a sponsor. I call or email my sponsor when I have this kind of issue. She is good at helping me refocus my energy on what I can change.
In recovery,
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
