Hi (((Family)))

I got home yesterday from celebrating my 4 yr al-anon birthday. I did this with just over 100 of recovery brothers and sisters..and mom's and dads at the conference that my home group sponsors every April.

We were at a new location this year for the first time. At a beautiful facility in Garner State Park here in Texas, overlooking the Frio River.

It was as always, a very spiritual weekend for me. We had great speakers, great food, great scenery...but above all wonderful fellowship.

Saturday morning, I got up early and went for a walk alone along the river...it was a crisp 37 degrees and absolutely beautiful. "Steam" was rising up off the water, birds were singing and a gentle breeze spoke to me as it wound its way around the tops of the tall Cypress trees which line the banks of the river. The evening before my name had been pulled out of the hat to give a 12 minute talk along with 9 other folks. I was hoping to hear from my HP on this walk what he wanted me to speak about in a couple of hours. Sitting down on the bank, I pulled out my ODAT and read the daily for the day...April 19... and I just started smiling. If you have the book check it out, page 110. It starts out with "Once upon a time a despairing husband of an alcoholic joined an Al-anon group". Now family, I love my daily readers. I love this program of Al-anon and while I place no more willingness to learn from something I read in our literature no matter the source, it is always with special interest that I read something written by the husband of an alcoholic, because relatively speaking there is so much less of it, and of course is part of where I come from. So I started my talk, with that opening quote. That is my story.

I have spoken a few times in the past and while nervous each time...this time was the most I have been. And I guess that is because it was the first time I have done so in front of some of my "moms and dads". The people from whom I have evolved in recovery. And I wanted so much to make them proud of me. I know this is silly, and I know they love me no matter what I do, but that doesn't stop me from wanted to do well for them. And, of course according to them , I did.

And an even more amazing thing is that because of what I said about the relative "rarity" of the "husband of the alcoholic" perspective in our literature, later in the day, I was approached by the man who was "taping" our speakers who wanted to know if I would be interested in speaking at a men's Al-anon conference that a sponsee of his is putting together! I was a little taken back by that! I didn't know there were such things. I know that they have Women's Al-anon retreats several times a year in Texas but I had not heard of a men's al-anon retreat. Men in recovery yes. AA yes...but not Al-anon..lol!

So anyway, I don't know yet if this will work out that I can go to it, because they haven't set a date yet...but if it is my HP's will that I need to be there, I am sure I will be.

On Sunday, to close the conference we had a tree dedication ceremony for a member of our family who had passed away a few weeks ago. I had been asked by a close friend of the surviving spouse to play Taps to close the ceremony, which even though it was hard for me I did. It was very emotional. Taps always is...and even more so this time as I was playing it in direct honor of someone I knew and loved. It was a privaledge.....Rest in peace my dear friend, Vann. We will miss your bright laughing blue eyes, your colorful Hawaiian shirts and your wonderful humor and love of life.

.....I set out this year to stay in the background of this conference. Because I am so an al-anon you understand. I want to help and be involved in everything. I absolutely wear myself out. I so want the conference to go well and feel a lot of responsibility to make it so. (thats my disease) On some levels I succeeded. When there was a lighting problem with the speakers podium, I wanted to get in there and fix it. A young man from our group had an idea...I let him do it. I stayed out of it and let him handle it. It worked perfectly...and I could see how good it made him feel to contribute. And I didn't have to do anything... except keep out of it.

On other levels, HP just laughed at my wanting to stay in the background and put me up there to speak again, and to honor a family member who had to leave us.

I love this program. I love this way of life.

Yours still in recovery,
David

-- Edited by david62 at 13:28, 2008-04-21