The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well I was on that darn pity pot with everything going on. I was thinking "why me"???? I had a very good friend say to me to remember that there are always people that are worse off than I am. Boy I wanted to kick him but he lives 3500 miles away . I got to thinking about what he had said and he was so right. I do miss my son but I am so grateful that he is still alive!!!! The outcome of that fire could have been a lot worse.
He has chosen to live with his dad and as long as he is happy that is the most I can ask for. I will continue to love from a distance and I hope that one day he will come around to really understand how much I do love him....
I am using my tools, chanting my serenity prayer and trying to use my slogans as much as I can.
I will get through this thanks to my program and all of you!!!!
Personally I have to really super focus on not comparing myself to others. After all I have no idea really how someone else's life is. I work really hard on getting some pleasure out of life. If I go into the poor me's I don't come out of them without a lot of pain.
It's ok to be on the pity pot for a minute, but what is important is that you stood up and found the silver lining. Any Mom would be sad that their son chose to live with Dad. We don't have stone hearts ya know. :) Yes, it's true, you have much to be grateful for that he wasn't injured in the fire. Keep showing the love, Mom!
Christy
__________________
If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Personally I have to really super focus on not comparing myself to others. After all I have no idea really how someone else's life is. I work really hard on getting some pleasure out of life. If I go into the poor me's I don't come out of them without a lot of pain.
maresie.
I wasn't comparing myself to others and, I do know how their lives are. I believe that he would be better off with a stable non alcoholic parent.
What I was trying to get across is that I can and will still love him from a distance (not without heartache) but I can't dwell on it and have it consume my life and how the tools of Alanon have helped me. I have to live and let live
So glad to hear you got some clarity hon. Sometimes the difference between a good day and a horrible day is a good night's rest.
I so understand your loving from a distance.
Now regarding that pity pot (tee hee), I am sure glad you got off because 1) I'd have to fly out and pull ya off that one and 2) man that ring around the (well you know) hurts after sitting for so long.
love ya Girl, Maria
__________________
If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
HHHmmm, where do you get a a fir lined one? I would invest in that!!! LOL!
Perspective changes everything! If all you can do right now is love your son from a distance and assure him that he always has a place with you, then that is everything. I wish I had a parent who offered an insanity free home to me as a teen. Being a teen is hard work but being a teen living with an active alcoholic is beyond difficult. I know if my dad had just been there for me consistently and offered me a place to live eventually, I would have taken him up. That is what happened but not till I was an adult and I was escaping my crack addicted abusive husband. Everything works out the way it's supposed to.
Good job getting off the pot! Even fir lined it isn't the most comfortable!
I didn't know there were fur lined pitty pots..sometimes when i get on mine i wished it was a padded one...but then again...i'm glad it's not cause i might get too comfortable on it :)
I too am happy for you that you have some clarity about how things are working out. I know for me when I go back to step one..i get a different perspective on things. Ok..i go back to that step kicking and screaming sometimes but am grateful to know I don't have conrtol over people and events even though I love them. Hang in there Shad..it will work out Glad you are feeling better...sending you big hugs
. 
