The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm in the process of filling out a very short application for scholarships to college, and at the end of the application it asks for a personal statement where I am allowed to state any educational goals, accomplishments in my life, civic/social activities, etc.
Talk about self doubt creeping in!
When I went to take a college campus tour, I was introduced to a lady in the TRIO department, which is basically student services for those who are low-income, disabled or are first generation college attendees. She was a warm and gregarious lady, and during our conversation she mentioned that I really needed to meet the director of the TRIO department as she has a PhD in addictions.
I smiled and told her I thought that was really neat as I am a recovering alcoholic/addict/codependent.
Lo and behold, she thought that was wonderful and told me she might have my speak in one of her classes this fall!
The panic started to set in as I am NOT a public speaker, but I thanked her and decided I needed to talk to my sponsor about that and my fears ASAP!
When I was able to finally talk to my sponsor, he reminded me that we never ever know when we might say something that will touch something in just one person, and not to think of it as public speaking, but as sharing my experience, strength, and hope like I would at a meeting.
So, here I sit with this form in hand, and on the one hand though I am proud of what I have survived, and the many blessings in my life that have come to fruition, I don't want to feel like I am tooting my own horn, so to speak by writing about any of this in my personal statement.
I certainly wouldn't launch into a long diatribe about my experiences, but rather a general statement about my recovery, but I just want to make sure I am doing the right thing.
Gads, I feel like that shy withdrawn teenager again! Any feedback or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
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"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson
Well, I personally think it's great you want to share this . I would suggest not worrying for now about the speaking thing this fall - this is really separate from that, it seems to me. It's not an audition or anything.
What occurs to me is you could approach it in a couple of different ways. If you want to break your own anonymity, you could talk about how much AA/Alanon have brought to your life. If you don't want to break your anonymity, but still want to share about your recovery, I can imagine writing a paragraph or so in "recovery-speak" - language that people in recovery will recognize as one of their own, but will not be a label for people not in recovery. Things like spending a lot of time learning to focus on myself, live in gratitude, take baby steps - whatever the aspects are you'd most like to share.
Maybe write it out separately, let it sit for a day, then read it over & see what parts jump out at you - then put those parts into a shorter few sentences.
And congratulations on going to college! I hope you love it!
I say, "toot" away! You have every reason to be proud!
From what I understand, colleges look for those who stand out and have a variety of experiences. You certainly will stand out as one who will persevere and can make it through! I think some very positive statements about your recovery, who you have become, and what you want out of life would positive and welcomed.
I am excited for you. Good luck!
Blessings, Lou
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Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace. ~ Ronald Reagan~
Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't ~Marguerite Bro~
Thanks for the input, ladies! It is greatly appreciated!
Thinkstoomuch, anonymity isn't an issue for me as I've always been an open book in regards to my recovery. Every employer I've had for the past 21+ years has known I'm in recovery, and I don't think there are too many in my small town who don't know either. I think writing it and letting it sit for a day or two, and then re-evaluating is a good idea!
Lou, thank you for sharing in my excitement! I am marking the days off on my calendar now! I had to laugh while I was sitting here because I'm such a goofball I had visions of perhaps playing on a kazoo rather than tooting a horn! LOL!
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"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson
Well personally I would not share my ESH with a group of people I am going to see daily.
I think writing an essay for your college application is another question. Of course they are supposed to admit a certain number of people who are low income and disadvantaged.
I'm not an open book anymore. I once was. I choose not to be anymore. One thing is that I am not a resource for everybody's recovery anymore.
A college application is one thing, public speaking is another. Why not take one thing at a time?
Hello Th,First I went back to college in my mid fourties. Yes I relate.
As far as speaking, that is totally up to you. You have the right to be kind to yourself and allow yourself to not do it. IF you really do not want to.
There were classes that I found very very stressful. there were consequenses to quit. I was sick about it all.Finally I saw how it was hurting me,taking my energy,making everything miserable,so I said hey no more.
OHHHH what a breath of fresh air to listen to "ME" and protect me.
They are there to teach YOU. it is YOUR education. If something makes you uncomfortable, is not something you will do,talk to the profs for alternatives.
Once I learned that,man was it freeing. I was scared and lonely too.
Maybe going to AA meetings and sharing you will get more strong and be ready to share outloud.
Hey share how you want too.If you want to share from where ya sit,do it.IF you want to share sitting down,do it.
When my AH and I got married we were sitting. Felt better.We do not have to stick to convention.Sometimes taking care of us is just this. To allow ourselves to build to be ready to do things, or change things.
Good for you for going to college!! One day at a time,don't be hard on you.
Sometimes the only thing I could do is get my body there! Lay my head on my rolled up coat and listened...
I am not sure that your college application is the right place to write about your AA and Al-anon. I think it is about your successes in life as a mother, parent, person, employee, helper, volunteer, awards, accomplishments in hobbies, studies and the likes.
I think that the AA and Al-anon come under another heading which is like a doctor's report, health record, and the likes. It will be remembered by the lady who spoke to you and you can add that sort of thing into a feedback at an interview rather than add it to your application form.
Having graduated from University myself, and worked at the University I feel that your application is NOT the place to share your AA and Al-anon recovery programme success. However, if you have lead groups or worked with others i.e. you are an active Sponsor, then that is a different matter and you could put those things down as , "other information"
For Example, you might say something like this:
I have lead groups on the 12 Step Programme; initiated Alcohol Awareness in a school programme, and currently Sponsor two individuals on the Al-anon programme.
This shows your people skills, your compassion, your public concerns and your openness to social problem solving etcetera., in the same way as my listing in other interests and achievements that I was an active member of the Pastoral Team within my Church and a Team Leader that took Alcohol Awareness into schools, giving presentations and helping sponsor teenagers during the 1980's and 90's. I was also a Samaritan and therefore demonstrated my listening skills by adding that to my CV and application forms.
Hope this helps. Suzannah
-- Edited by Suzannah at 15:06, 2008-04-18
-- Edited by Suzannah at 15:08, 2008-04-18
__________________
Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
THSKS, here is my ESH. My best friend is a recovering heroin junkie. She keeps her recovery/addiction history for face to face, verbal conversations only and keeps it out of all her professional written materials. She has a very high-profile career and has found this to be best. Keep it to a case by case basis and keep it face to face in order to retain control of it. I think this makes so much sense and its a policy I also keep with the exception of this MIP board. You want to be sure, each time, verbally that you want that person you are talking to, to know- not broadcast it where it has the possibility to be used god knows how. This is just my ESH. I, too, am happy to talk recovery and have nothing to hide but I do keep it verbal only and face to face, not written. Hugs, J.
My ESH. YeaH for going to college. You can do this! But TRIO needs to help you be successful in college not delve into your background (better boundaries on their part). I am thinking separate the issues. PS I work at a college.
. I would suggest not worrying for now about the speaking thing this fall - this is really separate from that, it seems to me. It's not an audition or anything.
