The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am learning that I don't have to feel guilty about things other people do. Even if those things hurt me,
My hurt's in life are not punishments because of my bad decisions (lovely little bit of religious thinking stuffed into my head growing up) I'm officially kicking that out of my head!! And may need to remind myself of it daily---it's not my fault, I didn't cause it and I can't fix it!!
Just reminding myself and sharing with anyone who may be hurting over false guilt or worry over someone's behavior or drinking or whatever.
I do not reject the idea of HP as the basic concept of my religious upbringing suggest. Only "mans interpertation" that was labeled as absolute fact and used to control me that I reject (doctrine) pastors and parents determining that they knew EXACTLY what God meant by certain things (funny how it always suits some human purpose when that happens) and using Guilt to facilitate that . I find NO Guilt in the teachings of the Bible- lots and lots of guilt in what I was taught those teachings meant! Interesting! HP is good to me, forgiving of me, his path is easy. Example: my kids will mess up, I know in my head they are not perfect and it is best for them to learn from their mistakes so they can grow (why life here is not perfect, so we can grow) but In my heart I FEEL my two girls are spotless, and perfect in every way- I look at them and see all their good even in times of trouble, they are spotless in my heart... Maybe my HP FEELS same way, maybe it is as hard for him to see/ let me struggle as it is for me to encourage my girls to figure things out on their own. Maybe this is why I sometimes feel unearned blessings-rescuing behaviour from my hp and sometimes he lets me struggle. He knows best and what I need at the time and why and I don't.
LOVE you and appreciate you responding to my post! My alonon friends/ support are like dicovered Gold to me...precious and unexpected. Even the ones I don't always identify with....valuable beyond words!!!!
Glad - that is exactly my view of HP. I think he sees us as spotless. When I think of the love I have for the people in my life - and how pure that love is - I'm only getting a small glimpse of the love that HP has for me. And that always blows me away.
That's why it's powerful for all of us to remember that our A's (as frustrating as they can be sometimes) are in the loving arms of HP. What better place for them? We can stop with all of the worrying, controlling, and wringing of hands, when we can get a firm grasp on the picture. It works for me.
