The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am exhausted and in a lot of pain right now; having found yesterday's PMP session utterly draining. On top of that I have to add another set of strengthening exercises on a daily basis this week as well as completeing the stretching exercises on a daily basis.
It amounts to about two hours of exercising a day and it takes me much longer to do them as I have to take rests in between doing them. (This is permitted, I just have to complete them all and manage to survive and make meals, look after myself, and shop and wash and clean - so yep, you have guessed it, somethings are just not going to get down and I will then have to struggle to keep existing and ignore the backlog of tasks. Just that will be hard for me to do.)
Boy, am I fed up with being in some much physical pain on top of everything else, it is so draining and tiring.
They told me I would be drained and exhausted and probably would not want to even attempt the exercises today, well, they got that right. However I can honestly say, I DID THEM - yep all of them, but I ache all over, even my arms and fingers hurts. It took hours to get my self up and dressed and breakfasted and ready to exercise today, God alone knows how I am going to manage tomorrow, will I even manage to get out of bed I wonder? (Hey but I don't give up easily - though it is going to take a mammoth effort in the morning.)
I am keeping in touch with my Sponsor, as I consider this programme to be just as important as my Pain Management Programme (PMP) but as some of you know I have limited mobility and this is really important for me to conquer, as well as the 12 Steps.
Not sure I will be able to post or respond much to you, ((((((my dear family))))), but I will be holding you in prayer and hope to at least read and check in from time to time.
So, I am asking for prayers, I need strength, and energy and pain relief to keep on keeping on with both my 12 step Programme and my PMP in order to continue my journey of holistic recovery.
Thank you everyone, sending ((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))) to one and all. Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
I can't imagine that - tackling things on both the emotional and physical side at the same time.
Keep those lines of communication open with your HP!
And GOOD FOR YOU doing what was necessary despite the massive discomfort of it all.
I was talking to my sponsor today about doing just general physical exercise and how it's very much like working the al-anon program for emotional and spiritual growth.
Exercise can be uncomfortable while you're doing it, but when you're through, you just feel SOOOOO much better! The same thing goes with this emotional stuff with Al-anon. It's not easy, can be very uncomfortable, but when you get through it, you feel so much better.
Dear lady, you are always in my prayers here! I know all about the pain and the exhaustion, and just flat out leaving some things undone.
I had a followup with my doctor today and there's a very good chance I have chronic fatigue syndrome, and it's not something you can just run a simple test for and say 'aha, you have it'! LOL!
At any rate, I'm already on some meds that would be used to help treat the aches and pains I have, and we'll see how things go over the next few weeks.
I've learned to let some things go around here and prioritize what is really important, and what isn't.
Sending hugs from rainy Kansas!
DeVon
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"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson
Suzannah, In reading your post I could feel your pain... don't know the details of your injuries, but my thoughts and prayers go out to you. Sounds like you have a good program that is keeping your emotional and spiritual energy up. It is so hard somedays to feel good when we are in pain... physical and emotional. Keep up your good work and you will recover.
Peace, Twinmom
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
I don't have anything like the injuries, issues to deal with that you do but I really struggle with dealing with my medical issues. I think I always have. I dealt with them with either denial or rebellion. Now, with the help of a counselor I am working on taking more responsibility and being more accountable. I must say that's pretty new ground for me to cover. Only this morning I decided I need to cut back on a certain medication because I'm having too many side effects. I really really dove into self neglect for years and denial. I applaud your efforts to take care of yourself and make it part of your life. I am glad this board has been of such great help to you.
Exhaustion is really a huge part of my life. Last night I came home from work and just fell asleep straight away. That happens at least once a week. I'd been reading some material that was really emotionally wrenching to deal with issues that had come up in therapy.
I often find life both physcially and emotinally exhausting. The issue for me is that I'm in recovery. I certainly am not in denial. I work on negotiating to get my needs met. Certainly far more of my needs are being met than they were when I lived with the A. More of them in time will be met.
I'm looking forward to hearing more about your journey in time.
