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So I'm on my way home from work yesterday the phone rings I answer it and it's him (to answer your question debilyn, the display is broken on my phone and I never know who it is till I answer...) Anyway, I have found that my tolerance for his behaviors has pretty much disappeared.
He starts off the conversation with what are you doing?? So I say driving home from work. Oh it's a long drive huh? And I say ya and think nah it's not so bad so I change and say no not really. He takes this as me trying to be evasive when in reality it was just me rethinking my answer... the drive is not that bad... Then he says I know where you live, your IP address shows where you are I'm not going to bother you, you don't have to try to hide it from me.
So button pushed...at least I recognize it and why it's irritating to me now!!! So I change the subject and ask him what he's going to do PRAYING he's leaving the state immediately. NO... He wants to "take care of" his legal problems here which means 10 months of jail time. He says he has credit for time served, I say I talked to his PO and he said minimum 10 mos. but hey I'm not gonna argue with him, if that's how he wants to spend his time whatever. So then he says he wants to go in the next few days but he wants to see HIS SON before he goes. So I tell him we're not going to be here this weekend (we are going to DC on Friday and have been planning to for the past 6 months or so...) and he asks where we are going. I immediately think, none of your business but go ahead and say DC. Then he says oh so you're seeing that marine guy or you must be going with that marine guy or some crap like that. So that's it for me I say I'm going now, goodbye and hang up. I don't answer when he calls back (this time I know it's him).
His MO is to pretend like he knows something in order to get you to confirm it. It took me a long time to recognize it. I never understood before why he would say these off the wall things. Such a manipulator!!! I don't even KNOW any marine guys LOL. He always acts like he thinks he knows everything and of course he is ALWAYS right. He formulates these complex plots in his head and then convinces himself they are true. No amount of my begging, pleading, crying, showing proof, etc. can convince him that one of his little conspiracy theories is wrong... He was sure I slept with a client the last time we were separated which I never did. But he had "proof" it was insanity and he made my life hell for a LONG time when we got back together.
I have never been one for fishing, guess I just don't have the patience for it LOL. I mean really, if you have a question, why not just ask the question instead of pretending like you have the answer just to try to fish it out?
When I got off the phone all I could think was THANK GOD I got away from that! Funny how it never seemed that bad before and now I'm at the point where I can barely stand to talk to him on the phone. I sure wish he would move on to his next "person he can't live without"... IT"S BEEN 20 MONTHS!!! I filed for divorce, It's over... I don't even have to think of reasons not to go there again.
The funniest thing is that when I first came here I couldn't imagine life without him and now I can't imagine life with him. What a nightmare, I feel like I finally woke up out of a bad dream and wonder why didn't I wake up sooner before this or that part.
LOL! A marine??? Yup, the WHOLE corps as a matter of fact. Nothing like talking to an actual, real live disease. Good for you for not answering his second call. He'd probably ask why you want a divorce. You are a very strong woman my friend. I can't have any contact with my walking, talking disease of an ex. It would make me insane, again. Now, when is the Hottie Drug Rep comming to pick you up?
It's that "illusion" thing, and I find it really interesting. He is the same person he always was. The only thing that has changed is your perception. Proof that we can get to the place we want to be by making concious changes to our own thought process by working it.
p.s. Does your phone allow you to assign a certain ring so the individual has a specific ring?
Christy
__________________
If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
nah, and he never calls from the same number anyway, he's homeless, he bums cell phones from whoever is around at the moment so there's no way to know...
As for the drug rep... It's almost noon now and I'm hungry and getting a little nervous... trying to think positive but it's getting harder every minute...
Well that's good news and bad news isn't it. I dealt with the A's controlling issues. Right now I think he is desperate to pay off more high fines from his reckless driving. I've given up volunteering in that respect for prettty much anything. I did miss the A for a long time, then I was angry at him for a long time. Now I just don't want to deal with him anymore and I certainly don't want to deal with the people around him.
I made that my life for such a long time of course there is a gap.
At the moment I've switched my outgoing message on my answering machine to a generic one so he doesn't get to hear my voice anymore. I'm hoping in time he will stop calling. I don't pick up the phone much but I am always anxious its either him or a creditor.
. You are a very strong woman my friend. I can't have any contact with my walking, talking disease of an ex. It would make me insane, again. Now, when is the Hottie Drug Rep comming to pick you up?