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I missed a call from the A yesterday at 4:45. He called to say that they let him out of jail again, not sure how that happened considering he has warrants in Wilmington for about 4 or 5 other charges and 2 missed court dates. When I talked to his PO he said that he would be transferred over there after he was done in the county he was in...apparently not. If he gets picked up there he will do about a year in jail on probation violations from the other stuff he did (most of you know).
He also had to comment on the divorce papers saying that he got them and saying every time he "messes up" I send him messed up papers... Hmmmm lets see, the mess up to papers ratio is pretty low in my opinion LOL. Plus NOT TO MENTION>>> that's the only time I know where he is to be served. Here he has gotten a restraining order, a child support order and now divorce papers but he's been to jail at least 2 times for each set of papers LOL. It sounded like it was just a minor irritation to him... Like I'm just being silly and this will all blow over...
I'm sure hoping that he doesn't show up for court. I am going to call my lawyer today and tell him that he's out again and about the warrants and see what can be done. I'm thinking in reality, he's probably not going to reply or show up because it's just too much effort... at least that's what I'm hoping because I can't afford much more! I'm trying to think positively.
I don't understand North Carolina, I don't understand how you can have warrants in another county and them not send you there and just put you out on the street. If he had half a brain in his head he would already be out of NC because when they do catch up with him it will be a year behind bars.
On another note, I had sent him a letter about his sister dying on Saturday and so he hasn't gotten it yet. I was really hoping he'd find out in jail where he is safe from himself. They have killer heroin on the street right now in Wilmington and lots of people have died from it.
I don't understand how the A I was involved with is "out". He has a warrant of long time ago for speeding tickets and more. Last year he had a hit and run, a guaranteed jail time. I don't understand it but I no longer obsess about it.
I am glad you were able to serve him. Personally I would get a restraining order again if the A came to see me but like you, I share the issue of not knowing where he is. I'm willing to turn it over for now.
I can understand your frustration. At one time the frustration over the A consumed me. Now I detach and detach and detach some more and it washes right over me.
I no longer blame him for where I am in my life. I've taken back the reins.
Ya I don't blame him either, I just don't want him making things harder for me. Once the divorce/custody situation is finalized I will have 100% relief!
I hope someday you will get some child support. The A has been contacting me recently. His birthday is coming up. I'm ignoring him but I will take action if he tries to contact me in person. I am thankful I have changed jobs. I am also not about to change phone numbers because he is bothering me. I will possibly change my outgoing message so he doesn't hear my voice.
I don't feel much of anything anymore when he calls and I know thats a testament to my detaching which of course I had to practice like crazy for a long long time.
My oldest called late last week as she has another court date today. She said if she doesn't call later, she's back in jail.
That doesn't even phase me anymore. It's been a revolving door with jail time, and I have no idea how she's managed to get back out as many times as she has.
I just accept it for what it is, and am thankful I have let go and let God. :)
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"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson
((((((((CG)))))))))), Hehe I think trying to figure out the legal system is less likely to happen that us truly figuring out what our "A"s are thinking.
I hope this all ends soon for your sake and the kids.
You are in my prayers.
Yours in recovery, Mandy
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"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall
The A who I was with is still driving I believe after I don't know how many reckless driving arrests. He has driven often on a suspended license. Admitteldy there barriers to his driving, he can't get insurance at an affordable price. He now probably can't get a regular job as he is not insurable but he still drives. He probably won't be able to renew his license this month (which is his birthday) because he has a fine outstanding.
I have to say that I can't really look to the legal system to lock him up. I have to look at that I never did hold him responsible for his absolutely out of control behavior. When I first met him he was driving on a suspended license. That didn't bother me then. Lots of stuff bothers me now when I meet people. If I meet someone who is dismissive of my needs or not empathic I don't hang around them too much, doesn't mean I'm not lonely I am. I just have huge red flags now when people tell me that they are anti social in some way, I didn't before. That doesn 't mean I have switched to a rigid person just one with self preservation. I had none before, now I have some.
