The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
okay, to be honest I have seen progress and to be honest I am acting like a butt because I want old stuff resolved and I feel down.
Today ( right now ) I will go read some of my alanon stuff- try not to focus on if I should leave the relationship or not and try to get to work on time. I want to share with you guys that my AH asked me last night if there was an AA meeting on Tuesday nights and he didn't drink at all last night that I know of (I was gone to alanon meeting) any way please pray for HP's will. Perhaps he will go tonight but I need to work on not being resentful or disappointed if he doesn't. At this moment I want to "throw out" program and give up but I'm just gonna make myself do it anyway because I know it works. Why do I feel like giving up when there are obvious reasons for hope?
Anyway please pray for me to not create any more drama and please pray that if it is HP will my A will attend meeting tonight.
I did feel that way some times.... and it was fear of what I had experienced in the past... many signs of "maybe this time" which turned into, why do I get my hopes up.
But you know, I can find a nice middle ground where I can hope without basing my lifes quality on their actions. I learned that for me... detatchment wasn't to run away, but to step aside and allow thier hp to act in thier life. I could watch from a safe distance and not get caught up in the ups and downs so badly.
It takes time... you are doing great! You are in my thoughts and prayers!
Take care of you!
__________________
"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
Well I always was an inpatient one. I felt pretty self centered about the A's behavior. Whatever he did was a reflection of me. He didn't love me enough to get sober. I didn't take into account it was a long established way of dealing for him. I had my own dysfunctional long established ways of dealing with things too.
I think there are some great slogans in Al anon, one is put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror. When we detach we don't stop caring we put the focus on us not to fix things for them but to take care of ourselves.
Program at times is like waves in the ocean...sometimes it goes up and crests and at other time you're in the trough between waves and it looks like you're gonna drown. Thats a metaphor for normal in the disease of alcoholism.
Better is available. Here's a suggestion? When you go to the literature to read focus on what it is saying and supporting you with rather than going back to the problem with your alcoholic. Our literature is a great teaching tool to help us unfocus on the problem and refocus on solutions. The indexes actually have topics of interest regarding feelings, thoughts and behaviors that are really inspirational. I believe that decision making is part of the index.
