The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been living with an alcoholic husband for 12 years. His mom passed away four years ago and since that time he has been very angry and violent. When he goes to AA, it only lasts for two or three months and then it starts all over again. We have a nine year together and I have a 15 year from previous marriage. I love my husband dearly but I am so miserable and very afraid of him.
Domestic violence does NOT get better. The situation will NOT improve. Perhaps temporarily it will, but do not become complacent. I cannot tell you what to do, but I CAN tell you what I'd do...No man would have a second chance to be violent with me or my children. I'd get out while I still had my life and the lives of my children intact. The safety issue can be neither ignored nor taken lightly.
I wish you well. I hope you stay safe.
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Your first priority, as Diva mentioned is to be safe. I suggest your 2nd step be find an Alanon meeting in your area. You will be welcomed by people who understand your circumstances like no one else can. There is always someone that has been where you are. You can call, toll free, 1-888-825-2666 for meetings places and times in your area.
Keep coming back, Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
cin, I have been in a dv (domestic violence) situation with my AH. I left. I got help through a shelter and they were wonderful. I know how difficult it is to take this step but please get yourself into a safe place, along with your children. I would have been in prison (from defending myself) if not for al-anon and the shelter.
I know how hard and complicated it is to leave but at least call you nearest shelter and talk to someone there about your situation. They will help and they will provide answers. You can talk anonymously, too.
Another option is to go to your nearest hospital and ask for help re: dv situation.
It can get better. I got better. I am happy now and feel safe. I feel really great, actually. I felt so horrible for so many years. Take care my friend, life can be better, Hugs, and love, J.
As a retired DV case manager I suggest that you get the numbers of those programs that can help you in case that seems to be getting out of hand. There are many of them available for you. Ask the people at family court. They have the information.
Find and get to the Face to Face Al-Anon meetings in your area. People in recovery will be huge support for you and having people around you, especially some who will be familiar with members in AA also will provide somewhat of a safety net around you. This program works miracles so going to those meetings will help you put your life back together and give it some sanity.
Keep coming back here also for the same reasons.
I am glad you found your way here. We support each others as family so now you're home and not alone anymore.
I too have been in a violent reationship and now my current partner can get violent with alcohol. Someone gave me some great advice witch I will share with you.
You need to make a plan.
My plan is if I feel at all in trouble I leave for a hotel. I have money for a taxi stashed away and a bag of cloths some where where cant wont find it.
If I feel I need to I will grab my bad and get a taxi to the nearest hotel. Then sort something more permanant in the morning.
Welcome to the MIP family. Here you will find great experience, hope, strength, wisdom and just a touch of humor (good for the ). Lots of good replies here. I sent you a priavte message, so just click on it after you log in. Your safety and that of your family has to be your first concern. Please contact your local domestic violence hotline or visit a shelter to see what you have to do. We would never want you to do anything that would endanger yourself (that includes posting here), so please take good care of yourself. Come back to us when you can and if it's safe to do so. You are not alone on this journey. We are always here for you. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty <--- the cat
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
(((( cinmgrier )))) I understand what you are sharing, the eggshells were a horrible feeling for me.
Here are some valuable numbers, they can answer questions while keeping things confidential and have resources beyond what you imagine. Please do not hesitate to call them. Battered Womens Justice Project 1-800-903-0111 National Organization for Victims Assistance 1-800-TRY-NOVA NationalResourceCenter for Domestic Violence at 1-800-537-2238 USDomestic Violence Hotline/ General Information 800-799-7233Please do keep coming back. If you would like any additional information please send me a private message by clicking on my nickname here.
From Courage to Change (p 273)
There is hope, there is help, and I have an inalienable right to human dignity. Much care, Tracey (tea2)
Here you will find great experience, hope, strength, wisdom and just a touch of humor (good for the 
). Lots of good replies here. I sent you a priavte message, so just click on it after you log in. Your safety and that of your family has to be your first concern. Please contact your local domestic violence hotline or visit a shelter to see what you have to do. We would never want you to do anything that would endanger yourself (that includes posting here), so please take good care of yourself. Come back to us when you can and if it's safe to do so. You are not alone on this journey. We are always here for you. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
