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Well, I had an appointment with my GP yesterday. The appointment was about my health but the conversation quickly turned to my parents health (we have the same GP). How the conversation developed onto them and the alcohol i am not sure. The GP is aware of my father's drinking and has been for some time, my father is also diabetic. However, he was not aware of the fact that my mother is drinking as heavily as she is.
I was with the GP for about 40 mins (i had quite a few glares from other patients as I left the surgery hehehe) during our conversation I opened up about the way they are. About how aggressive my father is towards me especially since I have lived back home, about how much Mum drinks and how she hides it from my sister and I and about how she justifies drinking as much as she does and about how she blames everything and everyone for why she drinks - how she always has an excuse for it.
The GP seemed shocked by some of the things that I said and not surprised by others. He didn't realise that either of them were as bad as they are. He was wonderful with me though and reassured me that I am not the one who needs counselling, that I am actually fine- it is them that need the counselling, the help etc and as they won't get it unless they realise this themselves, i am best off moving out of the house and renting somewhere of my own. I just can't afford this for a while so I guess I have to stick it out.
Anyway, the GP has asked my permission to speak to them about what I have told him. He has said that he thinks that if he approaches the matter in certian ways with them next time they see him (which is about 2-3 weeks) that it may make a difference. He said that he could not say more than that without breaking thier confidentiality.
I guess it is a case of fingers crossed again then!
I certainly understand your concern for your parents and your need to talk about it. What I do fear for you is the retribution you may face. The disease itself will go to great lengths to stay alive and active. Your parents may feel betrayed by you and totally disregard your real love and concern for them.
I know no other way to say this then to just say it....Just in case, you might want to make a plan so to have a safe place to go. You've said that your Father can become very aggressive. This may very well put him in defense mode and he could very well direct his anger at you. Your parents may join forces in protection and denial of their disease. I may be completely off base but in my experience it is a very real possibility.
Take care Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I know no other way to say this then to just say it....Just in case, you might want to make a plan so to have a safe place to go. You've said that your Father can become very aggressive. This may very well put him in defense mode and he could very well direct his anger at you. Your parents may join forces in protection and denial of their disease.
Christy,
I too have these concerns and I have spoke to the Doctor about them. He had no idea how bad their problem was, he suggested a number of things for me to try with them but I have tried everything. This is the only thing left. Dad is diabetic and Mum has extremely high blood pressure so the doctor sees them regularly, he has suggested that he speaks to them about the effect that their lifefstyle has on me and my sister. I have aired my concerns to him but, as he said - can it really get any worse? Yes, I suppose it can - fingers crossed it won't!!
i dunno about "need" but I actually found counselling very helpful for me.
I'm glad you have an ally.
Maresie.
Maresie,
I have requested counselling through the Doctor and he has said that he doesn't think I need it. He says that the problem is quite clearly my parents and that I just need to get away from them, move out etc... He has said that I am doing the right thing by seeking out Al Anon and speaking openly about thier illness rather than being ashamed about it but that they best therapy for me witll be to get out of their house, leave them to it and just see them as and when I choose to (when they are sober!)
