The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Going to try to make this short. Hard for me, stop laughing I know who you are....(o:
Ok I rent a little house and my main house on my property. LIttle one mt, need new tenants. Main, the people are not sticking to the agreement.
Tools, gave it to hp, thought of it as business, did not get emotional. could have freaked, scared of if I did not rent little one, cannot pay mortgage. big one, have to evict them, shouting match...ick
Nope did not get emotional,nope no worries on new tenants.Some GREAT ones are renting it.
Main house,they pay rent perfectly, I like them very much. I love their daughter. she is so much fun and so much help.
So wrote papers, unemotionally. Went over,stayed calm. The lady was very upset,crying, apologetic for not being herself. She had been very depressed and was sorry. She was VERY agreeable. I told her I was soo glad as I want them there. He was a butt head at first. I ignored that, when he said the s world I said please do not use profanity around me.
I did add I know I goof and use it, I am always saying "forgive my language" when I say a bad word when some 1200 pound pig steps on my foot, or Barlow the dang turkey pecks the heck out of my leg, or when I drop everything cuz of my disability......
Anyhow, it ended fine, I hugged her and said don't stress. I knew we could work it out. We always do.
He came out as I was leaving and said debilyn I am so sorry, I had a bad day at work. I said S no worries!! Not like I never blow it.
Alanon tools.
Can only control what I can, set boundaries on paper. Stick to the issue. keep emotions out of it.
Serenity prayer.
I will admit one of my physcial problems is my digestive system so it was wacked for a couple days.
I finally called A. My heart did not skip a beat when I heard his voice. He was just going out. Said "we"were just going out the door.
I asked if I could call again to talk. He said yes. He said bye, I say,"bye hon." geez dang it.
OH well. Becuz of alanon I asked me what do you want out of this call? It was nothing, no expectations. He has been in my life,all my life. His brother we lost to death was too.
Becuz of alanon, knowing the disease has got him big time,it does not tear me apart anymore that he is there with her.
I know he is there becuz he can just be a drunk or junkie or whatever. He does not have to have any integrity.He can allow her to be his "mother."
With me, he takes care of me and I him. With me he has integrity, stays on program,wants to please me. I am too much work when the disease is so strong.
Easier for him to stay drunk than to work at being clean on program.
I KNOW this. I KNOW he loves me, that is NOT the issue at all. He is sick. thank you alanon.
For me, for now I am ok alone, and it is getting easier.
Alanon tools are my life, my path,map, helps me to attain goals.
Today I finally worked on my clawfoot tub that is set into a box basically. I used my skill saw. It did hurt to do it. But it is done. Looks so cute. Still have to add the molding, varthane it and then make a step up to it.
took care of an awful job. I do not want this many animals ever again. Just cannot or choose not to go thru this continual death and body thing.
Cleaned up an area that needed it. Was all heavy work. Got where I could not do anymore. Came into my cute clean bunk room, made my yummy soy youghurt and raspberries, Marshmallow krispies with NO butter or margerine. Nice very low fat lunch.
now I am up on my bed with Tavish my bestBasset budi, zander my huge black and white tux cat, and Muse my pretty, old loving muted calico and of all things my house silkie tiny chicken, toodle.
Alanon tool I can see and feel the good around me,even thou the disease still tries to mess with my mind.
Well now lets see if alanon can help me walk out to my mail box...hugs,debilyn
And I must say, I wish you were our previous landlord!
Our previous landlord was an addict - a habitual pot smoker. Supposedly "medicinal" use, but I'm sure she used it for more than just that.
When we gave her a gentle heads up that we were going to be leaving, she FLIPPED OUT. Took our leaving very personally. Berated my poor AH (he was honest with her and told her he'd lost his license with a DUI - needed to move closer to town), told him "You gave me your word and you'll be sorry when you meet God!" She did everything in her power to turn her house-sitter against us, convince her that we were going to leave the house a disaster... yep. Not surprising crap coming from an addict.
We did everything legally, gave her a full 30 days notice as required by law, paid our rent and electric up to date, left the house in better condition than it was when we'd moved in.
We still have yet to get our deposit back from her. Not sure if we're going to have to pull the "small claims court" deal on her to get it back.
I definitely went through a lot of anger myself with her behavior.
So, as a tenant, I can say it's great to see a landlord not take their tenants actions as a personal affront. It IS a business deal. Nothing more.
Okay, I hold my hands up, it was me. I read the first line and you had me all doubled up laughing.
Ah, my friend you do me good and I needed that laugh tonight before going to my bed.
So glad to hear that you have managed to use those al-anon tools to deal with your tennants. And I love the way you kept your boundaries. You sound better and I am pleased. I cannot help but be amazed at what you manage to do around your place; so I am hoping that you will have a good night, and rest those aching bones.
It sounds as though you have got a bit of spring back in you after all those dark days. It is still pretty bitter here and flurries of snow around that look pretty for about a minute before they disappear. Odd, most odd.
Take care and look after YOU too.
__________________
"The highest form of wisdom is kindness." The Talmund
lol HB. yep was thinking of you! Well I put Toodle on top of the doves big cage. She is all tucked in. It is amazing how sweet she is. She will hop on my bed and come up to me slowly and lay by me.lol
She did not mind sharing the teriyaki chicken I made for dinner...sick o bird!!
well thank you I did not even think about the boundary part. Its cool that you saw it and brought it up. The reason being, that I am doing things alanon things with out thinking.
I rememeber when I caught myself being dragged in when the AH was being a turkey. Then I started to use the skills, as time went on,no matter what, the disease would not be able to pull me in anymore.
Just went out and covered up the potted pigs. I have got to get a gate to the big pigs. I have two panels on the opening. Was afraid to make a gate as they always seem to be able to knock anything down. rrr. I miss napping with my estersue.
forgot to tell you,this morn I woke up to "someone" saying, Debi,Debi,Debi.....gads...Reeba loves morning. whata you doing???
So now I have a live feathered alarm clock....hugs,debilyn
