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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Life is full os change
Post Info TOPIC: Life is full os change
Andrea12


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Life is full os change
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Hello All,

Been awhile since I have posted, I have seen the darkest side of hell and now am seeing a small slice of heaven again.

Living in the wolrd of addiction is a crazy thing, I went from being married to an addict for 20 yrs to actually using myself.  After the death of my husband I just totally lost my world and myself, I felt hopeless and that is a hell of a place to be and of all things, I got caught up in the world of addiction.  Since getting professional help, I have come to realize that I was actually hiding from my reality my counselor seems to think it was the way of saving myself how crazy is that, I had a suffered a nervous break down and didn't even realize that fact.  I was so caught up in the hell of it all I couldn't see anything else.  Oh and that pitty pot got real comfortable.

Anyway, for those of you who know my story, I am feeling happy once again, by the grace of God.   I entered a program, and it saved my life, I am getting therapy and it so very much helps.

My family is now a family again, although we have been thru hell and back we have survived.  My daughter is going to have a baby she is due June 8, am so much looking forward to that.  my son has entered his world of sports once again, he mad the varsity baseball team.

As for me, I have found som peace and acceptance in my life, I accepted the things that were out of my control and took responsibility for the things I could.

I am smiling once again for the first time in a year.  I can sleep at night and I feel peace.

I was mad at God for a long time until I realized that if he had not carried me thru I would not have made it.

Love to you all,
Andrea

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Maria123


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((((((((((Andrea))))))))))))),

Keep working it, one day at a time.  Each day that we are sober or not crazy in the Alanon way, it's one win for us and one loss for this disease that wants to get us very badly.

love in recovery,
Maria

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If I am not for me, who will be?  If I am only for myself, then who am I?  If not now, when?
nmike


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(((((Andrea)))))

Thanks for your share. So honest. Welcome back!

In support,
Nancy

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Christy


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((((Andrea))))

Welcome home again sweetie.
I can identify with where your head was.
Your post brought to mind something I read after I lost my daughter.....
When you experience loss and separation you have the possibility of seeing that what was filling you wasnt really you. If you stay with the hurt and the pain of loss without trying to cover this pain with something else, it is possible that you will feel the emptiness, feel the hole, see the hole. Then if you allow yourself to feel the deficiency, the emptiness, you may find the essential part of you that will really fill the hole, from the inside, once and for all. Its not even filling; it is just the elimination of the hole and the identifications with the deficiency. In that way, you regain part of yourself. You connect with the part of your Essence that you lost.

much love
Christy

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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them.  And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Jerry F


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(((((Aloha Andrea)))))

The dark side of hell...brings back memories.  Don't like dwelling on those but if you ever want to talk about that journey I'll volunteer as an ear also.  I remember the fear just before coming out of it.  I don't ever think anything could frighten me more than that.  Wanting to be out, wide awake, total darkness and afraid still of what was beyond the darkness.  Oh to hear HP's voice giving me directions on how to find the door.  Basic simple directions like you would give to a child locked in the darkest of rooms not knowing where the door was.  I was a child again.  I had to be a child again.  I had no other choice but to be a child again.  I didn't know anything at all.

Welcome back from hell.  What'd your slice of heaven look like?

(((((hugs))))) smile

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Heartbroken


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Gosh Andrea I just want to ((((((((((((((hug you ))))))))))))))) for I know the dark side of hell and I haven't yet really talked about that with anyone. I know that I acknowledged it, as you have, and found myself stepping into the light. So scarey, so intimidating.

My addiction was pitying and so ruled my life until I got to grips with walking through it.

So happy to see you here with your slice of heaven. Long may it be that you stay in that place and that heaven increases it's light upon your life.

Thank you. I do not know your story, I do not need to know the detail unless you want to share it personally with me, I simply rejoice in your being here with the 'family' again. I already feel that I have known you for eons as I do the other 'family' members too.

Love,
heart.gif

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Karilynn


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((((((((((((Andrea)))))))),

Welcome home dear lady. house.gif   We've missed you so much.  You have a lot to share with us: your strength, wisdom, hope, experience and humor.  You have taught me so much. 

I am soooo glad you and your family are back to the land of the living.  Nice to see Zac playing baseball again.  I know how much he loved that.  Now you will have a sweet baby girl. teddy.gif  (You're still too young to call Grandma.)  I think she will make a fine addition to the family. 

Please keep coming back to us.  You have a lot to give and we are blessed by you being here.  Much love and blessings to you and your family.  Hope your Easter was happy.  Spring is indeed a time of renewal and birth.

Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty aww

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maresie


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I'm happy to hear from you again. I am of course thrilled that you sought out help. Your shares helped me immeasurably. I am so sad that you have been to hell and back.  I am glad that your family is reorganizing and moving on.   I know you always had their welfare in your heart. I am also thrilled that you found a wonderful counselor. I hope you will stick around for a while.  You have helped so many people with sharing your journey.

maresie.

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maresie
mel123


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Hey Andrea, my friend,

So good to hear from you!  I've missed you......but I've kept you and your family in my prayers.  God has seen you through a lot!  I know the darkness of this disease, as you do, but thank God, we know the hope too.  Even in the darkest of times.......  I'm glad you are experiencing peace and your family is whole.  Getting help is sometimes hard, but always the best thing you can do for yourself and your family.  Way to be courageous!  I'm glad your son is back to his sports, and your daughter is doing well with her pregnancy.  Keep me posted!

This disease has definitely been a roller coaster ride for my family.  My son has really struggled, but seems to be very focused this time, and embracing his recovery.  He is living in Sober housing, which has made a big difference for him.  And he's been going to meetings as well as working full time.  I know he's got a long road ahead, but he is doing what he needs to do......one day at a time.  God has seen him through many trials.

As you mentioned, God's Grace and love has surrounded us.  And we are so thankful!   Keep trusting God..........He is awesome! 

Take care dear friend!  Look forward to hearing from you very soon.
God Bless........
mel123 ......Melanie

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Melanie Madden
aunitedway


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(((Andrea)))  so good to see your post. Have kept you in my prayers and my thoughts...for strength.     its wonderfulll to know you are back on your programs path and most of all   that you have returned to us here at mip:)) to let us know you are ok.    We All Loveheart.gif Youfloating.gif  Very Much!! 
Keep Lookin uPbiggrin.gif))).    Keep Moving Forward  idea.gifWorK IT w00t.gifWorkIT

Many Blessings and ((Hp/God)) look over Andreas family,  and for her son and daughter sun.gifand the ((((baby))))) for a safe arrival.

keep coming back.giggle.gif ((((Bigheart.gifHuG))))

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Lexie


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((((((((((((((Andrea))))))))))))

I haven't read posts for a while and am not in the room very often, either.  I was so happy to see your post and to hear that you are doing well.  It sounds like you have been working hard on you and I have been praying for you.  It is never easy to walk through the kind of pain you have been through, but I thank God you have walked through it with the grace that could only come from Him. 

How wonderful that your family is thriving and you are feeling whole again.  Hang in there, dear friend.  I'm thinking about you!

Love you,  Lexie

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