The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Once I got busy, I got better. Simple words. True words. I was so wrapped up in my AH, I almost lost myself. Those of you who know me, know the pain I was in. I did not want to even live at one point. Couldn't imagine life without him, he didn't want me. Somehow my HP knew deep down I did want to live. I have a new grandbaby to live for. My daughter, my friends, my family...... Little by little the fog was lifted until today I can see the sunrise. And it is beautiful! Where I was once paralyzed by fear, and controlled by it, I can now walk. I am free. I am still living in an alcoholic marriage. But instead of lying in bed, sick and crying, I got out. I reconnected with old friends. I have found love and acceptance from others besides my AH, because he could not. I have learned to love myself. I am important. I am worth a lot! I am a person! For so long, I was not....I was a big pile of mush. As a result of getting busy, I no longer take antidepressants. I am losing weight without even trying. I am learning to let go, to dance with joy. My AH is still drinking, but not when our new granddaughter is here. He loves her to pieces, and is a good grandpa. She just looks at him with adoration. I think he doesn't want to mess that up. I think he sees love in her eyes for him that he doesn't even have for himself. It is a beautiful thing to see, this little baby laying on his chest, both of them asleep. She will be 4 months old in two days. She is up to a whopping 11 lbs.! My AH and my daughter had a falling out 3 years ago, and have not spoken, lots of hurt and hard feelings. But things are better. They have at least been in the same room together, just yesterday. No conversation yet, but at least no screaming or hatred. I was almost to the point of leaving a few months ago. I could not take it anymore, I just plain got to the point where I didn't care anymore. I was done. Now he is being sweet, and kind, and helping around the house. Once I stopped caring, his caring came back. Weird, I know. I am being cautious, though. I know alcoholism is a cunning and baffling disease, and things could turn the other direction at any given moment. But I am taking care of myself. I am learning to let go and let God. And God is taking care of me, showing me a new way to live, out of the confusin and anger and fear. I am going to make it, no matter what. Life is out there, and I am living it, finally. Love in Recovery, Becky1
Your post is inspirational to me, thank you. What a miracle and all you have said I can identify with too. You have just opened up my eyes and I can see where I have changed too.
By letting go and letting God I too am making great progress that, until I read your post I had not recognised.
You have given me so much by sharing where you are right now. I feel humbled by you and I am happy in this state of absolute humility.
Bless you, and long may your recovery continue and fill you.
Sending you my love as I recover too.
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"The highest form of wisdom is kindness." The Talmund
Wahoo! Keep the focus on ourselves. Yes, you do have to be cautious. I find that with my AHsober the good and the bad are the disease. Enjoy his love for baby. Keep up your activities - creating a life.
Soooo awesome!! A real Easter event and just for you. God you deserve it. You are soooo right about how important you are, how much you mean and where you stand with your HP. You got more coming. Just keep coming back yourself.
WORK IT! WORK IT! WORK IT! Keith Urban would be proud of you! So am I. You're a great example of what happens when you stick with it. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Wow good for you!! I wanted to let you know I totally identify with the statement you made about "once you stopped caring" he seemed to start caring more and I don't know the "why" for that one exactly. For me it may have to do with my A / BF haveing a fear of being "engulfed" or taken over. Again if this is true it's not about me it's about him and his fears. I have noticed that when I stay busy and focused on my life he seems happier more comfortable and more likely to want to share. Once I realized this was not an indication of his value or love for me but was about him and his fear I was then more able to give him the emotional space he needs to reach out to me if he chooses to do so. I able to be a little more than okay even if he can't or won't reach out to me. My life doesn't completely revolve around him anymore so it's a better life for me and he seems to want to be a part of it more. It's a win win for both of us. So good to hear from someone with similar struggles and good for you that your in such a good place. Thanks for sharing.
((((BecKy BecKY BEcKY)))) is sooo wunderfullll to see your post and to know you are taking care of You )))) I totally agree that "getting busy helps us to get better." You go girl!
KeepLookin uP :) Keep Moving ForwardKeep Workin them Steps ~ You aRe soooo worth iT! :)
WORK IT! WORK IT! WORK IT! Keith Urban would be proud of you! So am I. You're a great example of what happens when you stick with it. 
BecKY 
)))) 
helps us to get better." 
You go girl! 
You