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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Acceptance... heheheheh!
Post Info TOPIC: Acceptance... heheheheh!
ESH


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Acceptance... heheheheh!
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Why is it that when we see a dog outside running around

And the dog is sniffing around, peeing on things and barking

We look out and go, "Hey, there is a dog peeing on things and barking!"

And we go about our day, because the dog is just being a dog


Then we see a cat in the neighbor's yard

The cat is slowly stalking a bird

The cat goes to pounce on that bird

And the bird flies away

And we go, "Hey, there is a cat hunting!"

And we go about our day, because the cat is just being a cat


But when our Alcoholic does something

We are surprised by it

And their actions or words puzzle us to a great extent

And we put all kinds of energy into pondering their actions or words

And we don't go about our day

Because we are now stuck

Focused on the Alcoholic now


The alcoholic is being an alcoholic

Did we expect them to be anything other than an alcoholic?


If I can accept a dog being a dog

And if I can accept a cat being a cat

Why do I have such a hard time

Accepting my alcoholic as being an alcoholic?


Just thinking.



-- Edited by ESH at 10:24, 2008-03-21

-- Edited by ESH at 10:25, 2008-03-21

-- Edited by ESH at 10:26, 2008-03-21

-- Edited by ESH at 15:02, 2008-03-21

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glad


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These are great thoughts and detachment is a healing, power-giving back tool. And I'm doing my best to use it. However the fact remains that the A's behaviors hurt and we don't deserve them- accepting the fact that they are what they are and we can't change it doesn't change that we deserve better and I personally have made some bad choices! I now have to make up my mind if working on "detachment" and acceptance to the extent that we have to in order to have peace is fair or best for me. Now that said, I see that I would have been better off to learn about a healthy ammount of detachment all my life and accepting things I can't change would have really made so many of my days better not just in regard to my A-- so I guess I'm doing "double time" since I just about smothered the heck out of everyone I ever knew before now. OH well I was doing all I knew at the time, and I'm thankful for the opportunity to change and have a much better life now.

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serendipity


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LOLOLOL!!! I was thinking "well, no, I would be out there yelling at the dog to get away from MY tree! or shaking a can of pennies at the cat so the bird may live in peace for one more day!" Tells you where my recovery is at this moment. But at least I can laugh at myself and I do! As far as letting the A be the A well, I honestly feel at this moment that I could let him go and be an A and think of him little if ever but the fact that his Aism or really HIM is hurting the kids makes it impossible for me to just chalk up his behavior to "just being an A". I see that place of detatchment and acceptence, I visit every so often and then I go right back to my angry place. Man, I can't wait for my meeting tonight!!! But LOL at me and my thought process!

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maresie


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Chronic self doubt for me. I also had an absolute brick wall of denial. I also thought I could "save" him.  I have a real fear of "reality


Maresie.

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maresie
Jean4444


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Great logic ESH!!! I love this, I think it would be a great submission for The Forum- you could mail it into them! I think this might be a good little tool to add to my tool box, too- thanks! Hugs, J.

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Christy


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I think when I was confused about acceptance it was because my A was acting like the dog, peeing on things...lol.  :)

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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them.  And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
cookie1971


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Great analogy ESH. Ouch, I can really see myself here.

LOL Christy. You must know my AH too.

Claudia

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A person's a person no matter how small  --Dr Suess
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