The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Your responses have been of great help and tell me over and over why I am here. I am here because I have gone through the bad times of living with an alcoholic and through the good times that produced wonderful memories. These memories are what have kept me hoping, and moving forward and when they were hard to conjure up my support and hope was refreshed by a God that has never left my side.
I asked for help, I asked for support, I asked for understanding and God led me to this family. Over time I have unburdened the heaviness in my heart and soul and I have shared deep hidden secrets, and I have received help and support and understanding and just as I believe in my God of love, I realise He led me to tangible love here in with this family.
Glad, you really opened my eyes today and I am so grateful for your response.
ESH - you too, I am so sorry that you have had the experience of such apathy, however I am glad that you are a witness to coming out of that and being here to empathize too.
Serendipity for all that you share and care and the dreams that you talk through, I hope I can be there for you too and that God will in time give you all that you need so that you are safe and happy.
Jennifer, stay in the light with me and work that programme and thank you too for your share.
Maresie I am holding you in my prayers even as I am in darkness from time to time.
Today has been better, and yes Jerry I have stayed in the light.
Maria, your bridge has bridged my soul and heart and mind to the underlying cause of my distress, that of leaving my loved ones who are not in recovery, that of standing alone in the light whilst they remain in the darkness. Now it is time for me to stop walking back over that bridge to try to take their hands and walk them over.
They have to chose to do it themselves and I must let them walk over that bridge as I did, alone and be there to take their hands when they arrive.
Claudia, Diva - what can I say, to me you are special people and I love you too for your compassion and support and prayers. They mean more than I could say in words.
Debilyn, your words and encouragement hit home...Walter will live on in my memory - and I never got to meet him. He was and is still a very special piggy.
Now I realise why I am here. I am here to live, love, share and care about each member of this very precious family.
God bless, everyone - glad, ESH, Seren, Jennifer, Marsie Jerry Maria, Cookie, Diva and Debilyn for taking time out to write to me and encourage me to drag myself back into the Light.
There are others, infact everyone in this family is precious to me and I share myself with ALL of you. Thank you all for sticking by me, even through the dark night.
I wrote some verses last night upon waking, just once, and I wrote them down and then got back into bed and slept. I share them with you, after reading them now for the first time, for I know the light I must fix my eye upon. Take what you like and leave the rest, however I hope they might inspire confidence in someone tonight who may be feeling alone and in the dark as I was these last few days.
[NB: Please, read God as your HP or the God of your understanding.]
In my search for truth, centred on charitable wisdom, With my inner eye of love gazing at the divine, Loving simply with permanent attentiveness Let my God, in my whole being shine To lighten the darkness now before me.
Oh, pure joy, passionately enthralled Reducing outward signs of mortal strife: Enhancing inward signs of eternal life. Shrouded by the Cloud of Unknowing - A flame of love burns bright.
My counsellor enfolds me, his spirit indwelling - A mystical knowledge of complete love. Touched and embraced in pure delight, and Communicated and infused in my soul tonight. This is loves contemplation made complete. SDH 17.3.08
-- Edited by Heartbroken at 20:39, 2008-03-18
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"The highest form of wisdom is kindness." The Talmund
I am late catching up, but glad you have found the light again. Keep your eye on it. It seems to me that you have always been a beacon for me. I don't remember how I lived before.
Love in recovery,
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
Some of the wisest, most compassionate people I know have been through the worst of times. It is sometimes horrendous what we as humans go through; and who in their right mind would WANT to go through this stuff? But, when we make it through, we see what we are really made of. Wouldn't want to do it all over again, but wouldn't change the wonderful being that we have become for having "been there, done that, got the T-shirt!" Glad you are here, HB!
((HB)) thank you for that beautiful share....we can see your progress thruough your writing. Glad you are a part of my chosen family. Keep working it...you are worth it. Keeping you in my prayers.
