The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today was my Mother in Laws birthday. The entire family gathered at her house. As we were driving up my AH made a comment that his alcoholic nephew was there. Many of you may remember the big blowup the 2 of them had a few months ago. It resulted in the police being called to his nephews house to stop an argument between the 2 of them.
I was determined that I wouldn't contribute to any problems between the 2 of them. My AH walked past the nephew and walked into the other room where he sat reading the paper and said absolutely nothing to anyone the entire time the nephew was in the house. I talked to his brothers and their families and everything went quite well. A soon as the nephew left, my AH came out and started talking as though nothing was wrong. I didn't mention a thing, even though I thought he was being childish.
A year ago, I would have been in the other room trying to talk him out of his bad mood. What could have been a real bad scene turned into a nice day for my MIL because she wasn't any the wiser. Nobody even mentioned the fact that he wasn't joining in on any of the conversation while the nephew was there.
I'm just thanking my HP for being there to guide me through what could have ended up being a ruined birthday for my MIL.
Still walking hand in hand with my HP. One Day At A Time.
Love,
Claudia
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A person's a person no matter how small --Dr Suess
Way to go, Claudia. Feels good, doesn't it? Amazing to me still how good things can go when I stay the heck out of stuff that isn't mine.LOL
Glad you had a good day.
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
How great that you got to be the change and experience the positive results.
Sounds like your AH actually did a pretty good job too, in terms of being present for the party while still meeting his needs. Not to say he handled it in the most mature fashion, but their was no disruption to the party and that is what mattered.
Sometimes its all about whatever works.
Blessings, Lou
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Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace. ~ Ronald Reagan~
Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't ~Marguerite Bro~
It is amazing to learn that NO action is ususally the best action when faced with someone elses behavior - especially when we love them. Cool post way to go!
And he also did the best he could with what he had too!! You both had a good time and he got caught up with the news including maybe even the sales at the grocery store and mall. Keep coming back and sharing your success. I could use that one more often also.
Thanks for the good words everyone. St Patricks Day was interesting. The AH celebrated a little, but I stuck to my program and later we actually had fun playing cards with my daughter and her boyfriend.
HP is very good to me when I trust him with everything. I know if I handle it, I'll only mess it up.
Love,
Claudia
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A person's a person no matter how small --Dr Suess
I have a situation where I live where people are not getting along over the heat. I am determined to not be in the middle of it. The landlord called me up a month ago about it, imagine calling me to ask me about someone else. I ended up hanging up on him which is not exactly a good relationship. I can find myself totally caught in the middle all the time. The A always put me in the middle between him and his mother. One of the last calls I had with him was for him to say I should not speak to his relatives. I said no problem and never spoke to him again (lol!) but obviously we all can't do that. I was so over reactive most of my life. I wasted so much energy on that!
