The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am a little drained but am hanging in there! Yesterday I went to one of our larger towns that is 60 miles away and my AH was kinda impatient. I needed a pair of black shoes and he got a little frustrated! We walked through the mall to get the shoes. Anyway, he hates when I get shoes, go figure? He figured that it was his time to get things done too. But, we got to eat at Red Lobster again so it was really worth the trip. I am finding now that I am starting to lose trust in some people. I am not sure if it is because of my "small town" life or because everyone knows my business. Anyway, some people should just mind their own business. Someone blamed me for not paying for something at our local rummage sale. I felt it was a personality problem on her part. I did not steal anything but she assumed that I did! Long story! She is one of those kind of people that doesn't like me because I am not her kind of person. I can't explain it but I felt blind-sighted by her accusations and everything she has said and done to me since I have known her! The worst part is that she brought up the issue with my mother at a table with others while they were playing cards! Mom didn't really stand up for me either! I just needed to get that out and realize that I am powerless over this woman and am not guilty of anything! Most of all, I am a good person who needs TLC! I want to be a part of this community but sometimes it is hard when people don't believe in me and have misconceptions of who I really am! I don't know if I am getting my point across or not, I have bipolar disorder and feel insecure enough. I don't need any more of the stress that just plain living causes either! I guess I will just take it one day at a time and leave the rest to God! Kathleen
OR.. You could see the accusation and your Mother's lack of defense for you as a character defect of both parties, source unknown, and refuse to take it on as yours. Leave it with them (and their HP) to deal with. You know who you are.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I like that post and the awareness for you in the future if you keep practicing this program. As I read it I saw both the problem as you see it and the solution. Awareness...Acceptance...Action!!
Some people don't mind their own business. That's true. Some don't; many more do.
Some people don't like me. That's also true. Some don't; many more do.
I am a good person. I also need TLC. I am bipolar. I don't need more stress. (Self awareness and acceptance...my own responsibility and best not left to others....at times they muck it up.)
I guess I just take it one day at a time and leave the rest to God. If this isn't the recovery ACTION I was led to practice I don't know what is. This is the action that works for me. This is what I try to practice 24.7.365/1. Other members in this program that do the same nurture my recovery by example so I am grateful for your post. You are not alone.
What I learned or re-learned here in the AFG is that if I totally discount another persons personality and personality traits and just identify those with them not taking those things personally...I can actually put my arms around them warmly (without a noose like pressure), pat them on the back with a smile on my face and know that I also use to be like that at one time and if it is possible for me to change I am hopeful that they will have that same realization. "And let it begin with me." "It's okay if you don't like me. I don't like being in that condition either and realize it's my choice. I can and will change it when ever I find myself there. Would you like a hug?" Or if I want to and have the time I may start a caring session with them. "It seems like you are struggling and having a problem with something...do you want to talk about it?" Apply lots of empathy and make sure that you are not wearing velcro; if you get the picture.
Again thanks for the the mini-meeting. (((((hugs)))))
I can't control what others do or say, I can only control how I react to it. I have also learned that I will never please everyone, so I feel it is a waste of my time to try to do this.
Don't worry about the fact that this woman has falsely acused you. You know that you did not do what she has accused you of. She doesn't sound like the type of person I would want to be friends with anyway.
Your HP will take care of you.
Love and Blessings,
Claudia
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A person's a person no matter how small --Dr Suess
