The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I actually went to a meeting without my mom on Tuesday! I feel so great about it because I rarely go to meetings without her because of the fact that there are very few meetings in our town and she feels she needs to go to all of them so where does that leave me? Anyway, I went to a huge Alanon meeting 60 miles away and enjoyed it thoroughly. My mom will go to practically any meeting AA or Alanon and she claims over 11 years of sobriey--I question that but it is none of my business although I know she hasn't drank in that long of time, I wonder about her believing she is an alcoholic--again none of my business! See what I am getting at? So, at least she doesn't drink at all! I am getting a mom break, too because she is going to visit our relatives for two weeks! Of course I will miss her but I do need a break! MOMs can be clingy sometimes. Long story! I will keep taking care of me and not let anyone try to spoil my little bit of serenity. LOL Kathleen
Oh Yeah, HN/K, moms can be tricky. I love my mom but she is an A. She does not drink but she is not in recovery either. I love her dearly but can only spend a certain amount of time with her. I certainly could not attend al-anon meetings with her. I would not feel free enough to speak my mind and heart with her there listening. I would have no anonymity if we were to attend meetings together. Neither would she, if she ever went with me! Good to hear from you Kathleen- Hugs, J.
I can imagine it would be hard to really benefit from Al-anon and AA meetings when you have a close friend or family member sitting right there with you all the time. I think it detracts from being able to be anonymous. FULLY anonymous. You might feel like you can't say certain things because that person who's close to you is sitting right there.
I determined after going to one AA meeting with my AH that I'd never go to another one with him again unless he specifically asked me to join him. That's HIS time. And maybe he was in a bad mood and would have liked to vent through a share, but since I was right there, he didn't want to say anything at all.
Of course, my AH isn't attending AA any more. But if he ever goes back... never again will I join him unless invited by him. If I want to attend an AA meeting and he hasn't invited me, I'll go to one where he won't be.
I feel the same about my Al-anon meetings. They're MY meetings, darnit. And there are some things I want to open up about that I'm sure would make my AH uncomfortable if he were there with me. I'm honestly starting to feel slightly territorial about my Al-anon meetings. I don't know how I'd react if he asked to come to one with me. (I've told him in the past Al-anon meetings might benefit him because he grew up with his alcoholic father.)
So that's great that you're really truly finding some YOU time at the meetings.
It's great, too, that you can share with your mom as well, but I really think privacy is a must in this healing process.
I absolutly agree!! I benefit from being at Alanon alone. I find things about myself I didn't know and don't think I would find with a family member of any kind there! Enjoy your off time! Sounds like you deserve it!
