The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well I have discovered over the last few days I may want to do some things just because I want to.
I just realized that in the (recent) past I have had some really weird thoughts in my head.
Examples:
I'll clean the house really good today, maybe light some candles (my boyfriend will like it when he comes home to comfort).
I'll buy that dress (but wait, will my boyfriend like it? ).
I'll hang some family pictures in my office ( family, friends will see them and realize how much I love them).
I'll do really good at my sales meeting today (my Dad will be so proud).
Today I still want to do these things but it is so new to want to do them FOR ME, really it's a totally different feeling and actually it makes me feel like I really will do them instead of just thinking about it and it makes me feel like they are not a "challenge" or so hard to "get done"??? Like I might start actually living a life???
Doing those things for YOU will surely lift a weight off you shoulders. How nervewracking to think you have to do everything for the approval of someone else. Let alone imagined approval!
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I think I've got a 50/50 chance of doing that, though. There are other times where I do something for my own enjoyment and could care less if anyone else benefits from it or not. It's all for ME. Me, me, me!!! LOL.
But it's hard, sometimes, when you catch yourself doing something that you originally intended for yourself and then wondering if someone else will approve or not. Kind of takes the enjoyment out of it for you.
That's why if I want something I'm doing to be for the benefit of someone else, then I need to start the entire task off with it being the only intention of doing something nice for someone else.
And in saying that, there's absolutely nothing wrong with doing nice things for other people, either. So long as the intents are genuine and you're not doing it to validate yourself in some way.
I agree, nothing wrong with doing nice things for other people - it's keeping the manipulation and resentments out of it, and just doing with a pure heart that makes the difference.
Also nothing wrong with just pleasing yourself - a nice balance between the two makes a life.
