The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
You take a breath and keep on remembering to breathe.
You keep coming back here and read and vent and learn and share and take all the comfort and support that you are offered for you are with family and there are so many others that have been where you are now, I was one of them too.
Welcome to the family. Learn about the disease that is contagious and makes us, who do not drink, sick too. Read how it makes you sick and opt into a recovery programme with us all here and work your own recovery whilst learning to detach from the A, with love.
Try to attend face to face meetings (f2f) for that is where you will get real hugs, and in the meantime accept the cyber hugs we can give you.
Pick up the literature that is around and read it, you will gain a knowledge of how you got to be so angry.
The fact that you are angry and sick and tired is good, for now you can focus on YOU and your recovery and how you manage that.
And wait for the other members of this family to feed you too.
__________________
"The highest form of wisdom is kindness." The Talmund
I know now that I was very sick, I didn't see it at the time when I was caught up in all the chaos. I guess being sick and tired is the first step and then finally you get sick and tired of being sick and tired! When you are consumed by someone else's problems it is very difficult to see yourself. I didn't even know who "me" was and am still figuring it out 18 months after leaving. One thing I know for sure I like me much better now! I hope you will find a local meeting and get in to a group with some real live people going through the same things.
Welcome and keep coming back. I have often accused my AHSober having all the fun because he has an excuse. I am not the alcoholic but I do alot of the work. As they said above we do become sicker then they do. And feeling sorry for myself is part of the problem. You are honest. It takes alot of us a long time to be that honest. So have your feelings. There is hope when we take the focus off of the A's and focus on our own recovery.
Aloha Joy...What a beautiful name. What a beautiful condition to be in also!!
Why are you sick too? Because you feel sick, sick and tired, sick and tired and angry. That's enough to identify with being sick. You will find out over time much of the answers to why by listening to the stories of others who come here to get and give away their Experiences, Strengths and Hopes. We are all looking for Joy and some of us reach it more often after working this program over time.
I felt insane, depressed, sick and tired of what I didn't know at the time. I was incensed that I was in a recovery group because of "HER" (I didn't even know it was "HER DRINKING"). It wasn't my fault!! It was "HER" fault!! Why was I here and she was out somewhere with someone drinking and doing who knows what else!!
I was sick because that is not the picture I had of how I wanted my life to go and I was sick because I fail so often at so many attempts to change "HER" and "IT" and "EVERY OTHER THING" I had no control over. I got sick because I ran out of health in my mind, emotions, body and spirit. I was supposed to be and feel sick I was told at the start of coming here. "What you are feeling is really NORMAL for living in and being the husband of a woman with a life threatening incurable disease. You are normal!!
If you weren't feeling sick there would be something seriously wrong with you. People who live like you have been living usually don't identify with sanity.
You are qualified to be here. Your chair and place are here. You can come in anytime and read some of or all of what has been spoken here. You can speak your feeling openly as you already have and feel accepted without reservation or fear of judgement. You are home and already loved.
Stick around because there are some real miracles coming your way if you keep coming back with an open mind and are willing to accept suggestions and try them out. This is not a "HAVE TO" program. It can save your life if you decide to try it out.
