The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm on my 4th marriage dealing with the effects of alcoholism. I have been spending a lot of time being resentful with my current husband and thought maybe I should talk on gratitude. When I came into this program after my second marriage I would never have understood me. What makes me tick, why I'm attracted to people who are alcoholic, or needy in some other way.
When I left my home group to go to school to work on my Masters and found a new home group, I never would have made it through the cancer that I am now 14 years in recovery from. There support and encouragement through that time helped me to hang on.
In my third marriage when I found out that my husbandd had been the victim of incest by his father, I never would have made it through the harrowing time of setting boundaries with the in-laws and eventually the husband because of his inability to let go of his family of origin, without my group.
My sponsor and group continue to help me as I battle the disease of alcolism and incest in this family as the ex-husbnand has now started looking at child porn and can only see his daughter on supervised visits.
I am gratitful taht my recovering A husband of today, has his own program and works it through our church, it's not the way I would like him to work it through AA, but by the Grace of God he is two yeaers sober. He also helps me to stay firm when I wavier with my boundaries with my ex, ex is so convincing that he is "normal" and recovered now, although he sees no counselor or has a program. I wish the best for him in his recovery and truly pray he is turning it over to God.
Grace rescues through attitude today idiots take understanding double endemnity
I spelled the last word wrong indemnity: security against hurt, loss or damage. I'm not good at creating acrostics, but here's my shot at gratitude.
I, for one, and very grateful for my A. If it wasn't for him wanting and actually getting sober, I would not be in Al-Anon. Although I should have been in years ago because of my dad. But the point is I'm in the program now because of my boyfriend. I believe that's why we were put together. Things happen for a reason.
I am not there yet Java but I have heard this a lot from people who are in the program who have more time in than I do and I trust that one day, I may feel this way too. I look forward to it. Today, I do not. Hugs, J.
Despite the load of sorrow his bad actions have brought into my life, he still has many qualities that make him a good man - he's just confused and sick. I can't hate him for that.
And, like you, I'm thankful for my A, because his actions have pushed me to Al-anon where I can finally spend some time really, REALLY looking at myself and learning about myself and why I am the way I am.
I was saying in one Al-anon meeting that my HP must have put me with my A for a reason, so by god, if anything, I'm going to use my AH as my testing grounds to learn. And I hope, I really do hope, my AH can learn from me, too, as I learn from him.
I wouldn't wish the last few years of his active drinking on my worst enemy, but I am grateful for my AH and his disease. Because of him, I am in recovery and dealing with issues that I had been running away from for years before I even met him. It took me awhile to get here, but here I am.
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Do not be anxious about tomorrow; tomorrow will look after itself. The Bible, from Courage to Change, p.138
I just got off the phone with my sister and I actually HEARD myself telling her how grateful I was to my AH because of all the blessings that have come my way as a result of being with him. Here they are. 1.) I am no longer a victim because I have learned that I have a choice about that. 2.) I have found and solidified (and will continue to solidify) my bond with HP, 3.) Fear is evaporating from my life more and more every day and I am living a peaceful life full of joy and gratitude, 4.) I moved to Hawaii and will have a graduate degree at the end of April, etc. the list goes on and on. None of that would have been possible without that a*shole. No, I really don't care much for him but I sure am grateful for him and now I understand this!! Thanks HP for providing a giant cargo of blessings delivered direct from all that pain. I get it now (literally! LOL!). Hugs, J.
I think I'm grateful for my A for all the usual ways someone is grateful for another person when things are good. Because when things were good - they were very good. But once the alcoholism took over, it became harder to use the word "grateful". Now that I have a tiny bit of perspective away from the chaos, I can look at him and look for other reasons to find gratitude.
I'm grateful that I have a new understanding of compassion. I saw this good soul being ripped apart by his addiction. Fortunately I'm not standing in the middle of it today - because he was taking me down with him - but I do feel an incredible amount of compassion. I now see people as more than their addiction - and I afford them the dignity which every human being deserves.
I'm grateful that because of the actions of my A, I became desperate to find some support - and HP led me right here. I'm very grateful for this board and the honesty and wisdom and guidance and comfort that I've been given by every member here.
