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I am looking at Compulsion and Desire and trying to work out where fear fits into these, ifindeed it fits at all.
Compulsion suggests that I have no self control over something/need, I must have/do whatever, whereas Desire suggests that I do have self control and it is a yearning, a 'I would like' but not a 'I must have/do'.
So would I be right in thinking that the fear lies in the Compulsion and does not lie in the Desire?
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"The highest form of wisdom is kindness." The Talmund
Desire, desire, um, that word in itself conjours up so many images. Desire seems like an ok thing to have. I desire so few things these days. Peace, sanity, love. I want. Desire seems like a much more beautiful way to say it. I desire to be forgiven and to forgive. Desire seems like something I may have a bit of control over. My heart's desire. My mind's desire. Although, my desire has led me to places I didn't want to go, so there is a bit of fear when I think of my desires and thinking that I may never get what I desire.
Compulsion seems like a nasty thing. I do not like that word.I have been fearful of having compulsions. My mother loves that word and uses it against people. "Well, he has a COMPULSION to drink...not really his fault! Well, she has a COMPULISION to lie...."This might be where my fear of alcohol comes from. After all having the compulsion to drink is deadly and according to my mother there is nothing one can do if they have a "compulsion". So that word conjours so many negative things for me. I hate to think I have a compulsion to do anything because that seems to me that I have given up all control and it is something I HAVE to do. And at this point in my life I can't afford to think for one second that I HAVE to do anything. Once I start thinking something and that my actions are out of my hands, I get into worlds of trouble.
I don't know if this is what you were thinking of but it did make me think....I desire to continue to grow and to free myself from the compulsion to shoot myself in the foot? LOL! Great topic ((((heart))))
I agree it seems like desires = good compulsions = bad. Also, desires are healthy - like goals, dreams, etc. Compulsions are dirty nasty things that you don't really want to do but do anyway and regret. I think right after I left my A my behavior was compulsive it was like a bad habit I couldn't break. Behaving in a way I didn't want to and seemed to have no control over. I know now that it's all about thinking, how I choose to perceive things or imagine that others will see them.
I don't think I have ever heard the term desirous gambler or desirous shopper or desirous drinker or desirous liar. I also don't think I have ever heard anyone say I really want to be an alcoholic, thief, liar, addict, gambler, etc. Desires are things I want.
That was a very "keep it simple" presentation for me. I can't see where fear fits into it for me unless there is an evaluation of what is desired or I am compulsed to do and the outcome would be risky on many levels.
I am compulsed to smoke and the outcome would negatively affect my breathing. I desire friends and some of the people I am around affect my serenity negatively. I fear negative outcomes in my life having been born and raised in the dysfunction of rampant alcoholism.
I wrote this down in my notebook and could not remember from whom I had got it...even so I have been pondering it ever since and I could not work out where fear came into it.
Thank you Jerry, I think I just experienced a 'blonde moment', as my son is wont to say to me.
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"The highest form of wisdom is kindness." The Talmund
