The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am happy to share my son and I are talking again. I had left him an African mask on his doorknob. He emailed me.
He is stressed about a bunch of stuff. As always overreacts. I believe it will be ok.I mostly told him how I felt.
It was not that I had to know everything. I was only scared. I have lost so many loved ones and I cannot lose him.
He told me it was all a misunderstanding. I had sent him an email back saying all it was was I will not have anyone use profanity to me.I expect respect and love from my children especially. He did not use it at me,but said it.
Anyway as we were talking on the phone out came the f word. I did not say anything. I told him I had sent him an email earlier.
He must have read it as we were talking becuz not one other profane word came out of his mouth...
Anyway I plan to take him some mom food,chicken and dumplings,turkey stirfry etc....(o:
Because of Alanon I made boundaries I needed, and did not waiver.Was frigging hard too!! lol
He is overreacting about his refi on his house.He is young and does not understand it takes time. Because of my skills of let go.....don't enable....I just said,do the footwork, it will be ok.
Of course I want to say I will catch up the payments if we need to.I will go as your advocate to the m.broker and see what is going on....I mean REALLY doesn't a 31 year old son neeeeeeed his mom???
I need to call the AH about taxes.Just writing that makes my stomach hurt.No there is no one who can do it for me. He is a brainless lowlife now, in order to even get him to talk to me I will have to say I will come over there then. No threat either,will do it. He's a wus.
I sure do not look forward to it. I won't divorce yet because I just have to be married to him until Jan.3 of 09 to draw on his social security.
Anyhow I am so happy to be ok with my son again. It sure was hard on me not to feel loved by him. ick.
That was a tough read for me. On the one hand I can relate to the wishes of being respected by a close family member because respecting myself and others is now a solid part of my value system again because of this spiritual recovery program. On the other hand I can only get what it is that I give out. What goes around comes around is a slogan that supported my learning how to be accepting of my alcoholic for exactly everything she was. I believe that is how my HP loves me and that it is exactly what His will is for me.
Additionally I use to be a mortgage agent...the process at times is mind numbing on both sides. Today with all that is going on in the economy and the industry I don't recognize anything that will make the process easier.
((((((Debilyn))))))) Glad that you and your son are okay with each other. I know for me I can stomach not being okay with practically anyone except my child. That's a real toughie for me. And a mom's love for her son is profound indeed.
Well my dear, like me just for today we will celebrate that the communication is good. We will smile and be pleased that the barriers, for what ever reason have been broken down and positive contact is being enjoyed by both of you.
I am encouraged so much by your example of boundaries and your constant insistence for respect. That is a hard thing for me and so I am conscious that it takes effort to enforce this.
I am happy for you too, for I know how much the communication means to you, as it does from my own.
It seems that our sons (well yours and mine, and others seem to need their mothers, even if they would not actually acknowledge it to others...and like you I am happy...though I do not want to take their responsibilies away from them...I think help by thought and word, and experience and knowledge sharing seems to be the way to go, but like my daughter, enabling help NO, they really do need to get there themselves.), however, once a mom always a mom no matter how old they are. Leastways, that is how I see it.
I know what this means to you and I am so happy for your. (((((Hugs for the English countryside coming your way.)))))
As for the divorce, well that is another matter and I am sure you will know when the right time comes along, so stay strong my dear friend.
And how about this D, God Bless, from HopefulHeart!
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"The highest form of wisdom is kindness." The Talmund
Congrats on getting back together with your son. The one thing I think that I just could not bear is if I ever lost contact with my daughter, she is at times my reason for living. If anything ever caused us to lose communication, it would just be too hard too deal with.
Good Luck in your dealings with AH.
Love and Blessings,
Claudia
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A person's a person no matter how small --Dr Suess
