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I know this is a trite question, but I am really interested in what you all have to say on the subject....Do you believe in "meant to be"...in the sense that if it is "meant to be" it will work out....? This is something I believed as a younger girl, rejected later on and tried desperately to "make" things happen, now I am not sure what I think...
Today, I live in today. I do not think too much about the future and what will be. There is alot of hope for me in the idea that I DON"T know what the future holds. If I am doing the best I can today for myself and my kids then I am ok. If you let them go and they don't come back then it they were never yours to begin with.....um, I think that's a great philsophy as far as animals are concerned but people.....
I am powerless over people. And if I am thinking and doing and controlling, what makes me think that they are doing/feeling the same. I realize that those I think of, worry about and love probably do not spend half as much time thinking about me. So, there I am back to one day at a time and focus on myself....
I read this post after writing my "admitting wrong" post. I think they relate!!
I tend to say "things are as they are meant to be" or "everything will turn out as it is meant to be"....I really don't know that I deep-down believe that. If it were true then we wouldn't have to do a thing about anything. Just let life unfold, accept, and await the consequences.
I think we have to deal with whatever we are given in life. Some of us deal better than others. I don't know whether that is learned or just who we are instinctively. I know that I used to deal much better with the problems of life when I was younger and healthier. If my life is turning out as it was "meant" to be, I am NOT happy about that!!
So I don't know. I do agree that trying to determine what is going to happen in the future is often futile. I have to keep reminding myself to deal with what is happening right now, today, and hope that my actions and behaviors will positive and productive. That is what I am working on...finding that very fine line between accepting what I cannot change and changing that which I can.
You know that's an interesting question..And me personally I used to think It was all a load of crap.... But I have been running on "self-will" trying to make things happen, change people, hold onto them because it was what I wanted... Guess what????? doesn't work...
So, I have decided to just sit back and watch, and yeah, If It's meant to be it will be.. "nothing changes if nothing changes right" Also in the time you sit back, maybe something more suitable for you will come along..
I have a belief that certain things come into my life for some kind of purpose... either I willed them to happen, or they're there for me to learn something and that sort of thing.
It's sometimes the only way I can cope with tragedies. If something happens that upsets me, I try to remind myself that somewhere in the tragedy is a lesson to be learned. It's all there for my overall betterment. I try hard not to look at my lessons as punishments - just as opportunities to better myself and grow. Even the mess I'm going through now, I'm not sitting here thinking to myself "Oooh what did I do to deserve this?" I'm just looking at it as, "Okay, somehow this is something I'm supposed to work through." And in that, that is where I try to remind myself if things are just too far gone out of my own ability to work through, I then ask my HP for assistance, or better yet, tell my HP, "Okay, I'm clueless, so I'm going to let you handle it."
I think there's a lot of truth in the saying "If it doesn't kill you, it'll only make you stronger."
I like this game. I think this argument can go either way. Obviously we have to do something or nothing will ever happen right? We have to make choices every day. I am a firm believer that if it is meant to be it will and I think that's just another way of taking a step back and watching to see what will happen. I know this much, when I make a DECISION to do something things either fall into line to make it happen or they fall totally out of line to keep it from happening. I think this is the point, I have to decide, I have to take action and if it is meant to be it will work if it doesn't work then I better try something else. So in terms of relationships with others I try something, if that doesn't work I try something else, etc. Until I find something that works for ME. Sometimes a relationship that works is one where we don't talk to or see eachother. A different way of relating than I did in the past (ie jump to answer calls, be there, solve his problems, etc.) but this way is working better for ME right now. If we were meant to be together something will change to make that happen either in him or in me. If I sit around waiting for him I might have closed the door to the person I'm really supposed to be with who passes me by as I wait.... All we can do is make the best choice for ourselves with what we know RIGHT NOW to be true and forget assumptions and what ifs.
Good topic. I don't buy "meant to be" for a minute. It gives me "permission" to be a slacker :) I completely sing the first step. I can't make anyone anything do what I want. I can make changes - mostly between my own ears. Those changes can change my universe. They already have. When horrible things happen, I don't think that my higher power has scripted it. Thanks for the thought. --- Jill
In a philosophical way, I do believe that however I also learned that I must do the footwork. So I do the footwork and then leave the results up to my HP. The meant to be is about the results and my willingness to accept them.
Great question, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Make things work out , well don't know about u but that didn't work so well for me . Square peg fits in round hole but never stays there . Here we call that forceing a solution and that dosent work either . sheeeeeesh wasted alot of time and effort before i figured that out . I have learned that if something dosent work out after all my plans , that sometimes the answer HP gives is NO . so yes I guess I do believe if it is supposed to be it will happen , now I do the footwork to get what I want and leave the outcome to God . works for me . Louise I heard a speaker say that God took everything away that she wanted so that she could get what she needed. kinda neet way to think .
Through every choice I have ever made it has brought me to where I am. Had I made different choices then outcomes would be different. Where does that leave "meant to be"?
For every action there is a reaction. It's simple physics. Since I have choices that can go a hundred different ways, how can anything be cut in stone and meant to be?
I also know that without bad things in our lives we wouldn't know what good is. There would be nothing to compare it to.
I don't think starving children or murderous gangbangers are a lesson. Who's lesson? What would millions of children, generation after generation (Africa) have to starve and die to learn? It's simply what we as a people have allowed to happen. That's the lesson. There is enough food on this earth to feed everyone.
We live, we learn. We give, we get. We hate, we are hated. It's a big circle. Do I believe in Karma? You bet.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Boy, I can certainly go to either side of the fence on this question.....
I think, overall, I believe that there is at least an element of fate or "meant to be" out there, and that things DO happen for a reason.... I guess my biggest struggle, is I compare things to how "I think they are going to turn out", and judge it accordingly.... There probably is an overall plan for each of us, but we don't get to know all the answers.... I also believe that life provides us opportunities AND the ability to choose, so we are at minimum "partial owners" of the solutions (if that makes any sense).
From a relationship perspective..... that seems to be today's way of people nicely breaking up.... Years ago it used to be "I like you as a friend, but....", whereas today it is "if we are meant to be, it will happen....". Somehow, both statements take me back to that book entitled "Maybe he's just not that into you"..... as I think many of these are equally applicable to both men and women!!!
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Interesting question. If the home I want to buy is sold before I can get my bid in...well, I can say, "It wasn't meant to be," and happily go on looking for another
Then I read in the newspaper a horrific article about a child murdered for no sane reason, leaving parents to grieve his loss forever, with no hope of "closure;" a stupid word at best in this context. That was NOT meant to be, and the parents aren't "right where they are supposed to be right now," a phrase that sometimes make me cringe.
Jill says it like it is.
Diva
-- Edited by Diva at 09:54, 2008-02-22
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
