The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I joined my AH at an open AA meeting last night. It was his 30-day mark. A big achievement, I think, but he's not proud of it. He doesn't know how to feel about it, I guess.
Just shows me how wrapped up he got himself in drinking.
Just praying to my HP and to his HP that he someday will see the light. Not much else I can do about it, except to be quietly thankful that he hasn't drank for 30 days.
I am not an A, but I have relapsed in my recovery from codependency on numerous occasions, and especially in the last 2 weeks. I've felt angry about things not going my way....felt like "life" was more important than getting to meetings...and felt irritated that my sponsor kept telling me to practice the steps...
What I realized over this past weekend....is that I am in a spiritual war. As I attempt to recover in Al-Anon, the Disease continues to tempt me...wanting me to isolate....wanting me to skip meetings....even wanting me to consider suicide. THE DISEASE WANTS TO KILL ME!!!
That is what I was thinking when I read your post.
I will pray that HP will strengthen you and your H. Remember...we're recovering from a seductive disease that wants to kill us.
I have found the Big Book to be a great help. There is a chapter for wives that helped me to understand what they're going through. They do not choose to drink. They cannot help themselves because of the disease. Only a HP will do for them what they cannot do for themselves.
Love and Light ((((Aloha)))) gladlee
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
Sounds like your on the right track with you Aloha. I like the quietly thankful part you mentioned. Too much noise might set off the natural alcoholic rebellion. Quiet, serene, courteous and kind. Its all in our books and the chapter Gladlee mentioned is very good. I do believe our own, "Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage," would be a good read soon also.
Pride is not what your looking for Aloha. We in AA program would see that as a dangerous rather than a good sign. How could one have it when God is the one working the miracle and not himself. Gratitude coupled with fear, possibly hopelessness that one cannot hang on by ones self for much longer is what might push him to a faith that works. NOW THAT :) will change his attitude to one of gratitude.!
